Bite-Sized Diabetes
Diabetes is every day. Every minute. It’s there when I wake in the morning and it’s snuggled with me when I fall asleep at night. Whether I’m testing my blood sugar to gauge how my morning coffee has affected things, catching my insulin pump tubing on the handle of my desk drawer, or making sure my purse is stocked with a just-in-case juice box, diabetes touches so many moments of my life.
There’s so much to monitor that it’s easy to become complacent. Tired. Burnt out.
Diabetes burnout. It’s a phrase that peppers many of my paragraphs from time to time. When managing a chronic condition, the meddling minutiae of it all can make the day-to-day tasks a bit overwhelming.
Remaining motivated is a challenge for me. Sometimes it’s the biggest challenge. My diabetes-related complications are minimal at this time in my life, so it’s hard to keep thinking “what could happen” as a way to keep myself vigilant. The threat of complications, though terrifying when I am waiting for the retinologist to peer into the depths of my dilated eyes, isn’t what makes me maintain my diabetes on an hourly basis.
I know what fuels me - I want instant gratification. Avoiding complications is paramount, this I know. I want to be healthy. I want to be the 85-year-old woman who is walking around her neighborhood every night (most likely with a cat on a leash or some other sort of foolishness) and chasing after her grandkids. But now, in my twenties, it’s difficult for me to force my brain forward to the twilight of my life. I don’t want to think about being old. I want to enjoy my youth.
I need short-term goals, the things that are closer than eye complications and less scary to think about, but the end result is the same: good diabetes control.
I think about the iced coffee I want in the afternoon, forcing me to keep numbers tight in the morning. I think about the dress I bought for the event we’re attending next month, whose fitted bodice motivates me to trek over to the gym. I think about my own wedding next May and how I want to look as healthy and happy as possible. I think about starting a family after we’re married, bringing my body to a state of pinnacle health in preparation for carrying a child.
For me, it’s all about whittling the disease management down to a manageable size. I need my diabetes in bite-sized bits. If I look at the proverbial big picture, it tends to swim around like one of those magic eye pictures. Thinking about everything that needs to be monitored and wrangled in can make me feel overwhelmed and scared.
Instead, I need to keep my goals finely tuned and within reach. When I was reluctant to test my blood sugar throughout the day, I set a goal to at least test first thing every morning. When I needed to lose ten pounds, I set a goal to lose two. Reaching these milestones, no matter how small, made it easier to raise the bar ever higher, bringing me closer to better health and tighter control of my diabetes.
There is no “perfect.” It’s damn near impossible to have it all figured out, this moving target that is my disease. I just need to keep trying, juggling these variables, laughing as often as possible, and keeping the burnout at bay.
Comments
Thank you for reminding me that daily management is possible by taking it in smaller sections, one bite size at a time.
This last year I hit burnout and my numbers were haywire. I now am back on the right track and will remember to do it in bite sizes.
Posted by: Sheila L | September 7, 2007 11:27 AM
I sit here, in tears, reading this and am grateful to have been able to come across it this morning. Just what I needed to hear. thank you.
Posted by: Sheila | September 7, 2007 12:14 PM
I sympathise, having been diabetic for more than 18 years. However, I do find the use of curse words objectional. I guess it is a sign of the times, but not a good one.
Posted by: Pat Pierri | September 7, 2007 03:06 PM
Thanks to all for telling me that this disease is a bit-by-bit thing. Ever day seems to be a new challenge, and with an eratic work schedule, some days the challenge is harder than others. I keep trying to do things as a should, but sometimes this is not possible. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: vicky | September 7, 2007 07:32 PM
My motivation was losing my mother to diabetes, piece by piece. I am 45, live alone and hit burnout periodically. I will cry, then watch some comedy and realize if I want to stay alive and independent, I will have to take the shots and just deal with it.
Posted by: Mike Greenblatt | September 7, 2007 07:57 PM
Burnout is kind of sneaky, it doesn't always happen all at once. It happened to me in small stages. An injury sidelined my excercise program and when I healed up I didn't head back to the gym. Chocolate milkshakes are still hard to resist, so I didn't. etc.. It took a trip to the hospital for an unrelated illness that my lack of good control caught up with me. It complicated my treatment and my diet. I am back on the mend and my blood glucose is looking better everyday. But I was one sick puppy for a couple of months and it would not surprise me at all that the reason I got so sick was my Type 2 diabetes. So my point is that it is not just those scary complications that seem so far off that we use to keep us on the straight and narrow, you can seriously get youself in big trouble NOW. It is certantly a lesson I learned the hard way.
Posted by: Margie Ellison | September 8, 2007 12:54 AM
I don't know how many days I have become overwhelmed in my pursuit of tip top shape in preparation for TTC and thought.."Gosh I am sooooooooooo sick of this." Then I think later..this is my life. Diabetes is not who I am or what defines me and the steps I take are akin to when I brushed my teeth or wash my hair. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has these crisis'. Thanks.
Posted by: Drexxy | September 8, 2007 06:50 PM
I am a certified diabetes educator with a daughter who has had type 1 since age 5. She is now 33 years young. I am 56 years young and have developed type 1.5..that's right, making very little insulin on my own, but taking very little as well. I give myself permission to have an occasional pitty party, and yes, even cry a little about the minute by minute, day by day, week by week responsibility of managing diabetes. It's comforting to know that others feel the same about this condition. I, too, realize there are very few precious moments that I'm not thinking about my diabetes..well, maybe hours when I'm sleeping..I think it is extremely important to find laughter in life, even in our diabetes challenged mo moments. I've just not gotten there myself, but, gratefully, my daughter has. I truly admire her tenacity and endurance, her courage and determination. What a blessing to have her, and others like her, to help keep me motivated to manage this diabetes thing and live life to the fullest. Blessings
Posted by: Donna Conway | September 8, 2007 09:12 PM
excellent article. This is a memorable way to keep goals realistic and within my grasp. Unlike the author, the big picture and scary concequences of lapsed self care have motivated me to take steps to get into shape. However, in the long term I have puzzed over how to keep this all going. This looks like a sensible way to approach the long haul to me. Instant gratification!
Posted by: alice | September 9, 2007 10:02 AM
I would like to post one thing that gets me really ticked off and that is eating out. My husband and I go out to eat every great once in awhile. Simply because places to eat does not have a diabetic section. With so many diabetics in this USA you would think someone would recognize this and help us out. I have noticed that when we do go out, the buffet or server style of restaurants there is row after row of regular desserts and maybe 2 types that are sugar-free. Please someone take notice and help us out. I get really burned out on this.
Posted by: charlotte roberson | September 9, 2007 10:52 PM
I totally agree with what she had to say. It's just a shame she had to curse to get her point across. The rest of the content was emphasis enough.
Posted by: Holly B | September 10, 2007 08:00 AM
I am a newly diagnosed diabetic, type #2 (june-2007). Finally have some control on my diabetes. Started with a sugar of 300, now it has been 99. Generally though it is between 99 and 116. I take 1 1/2-tabs. Metformin (500-mg. tabs.) per day. I am trying to loose weight with diet and exericse and am walking 2-miles per day. Have lost 28-lbs. and doctor hopes that after loosing some more weight i will be able to control the diabetes on diet and exercise alone and get off the medication. I have not hit burnout yet, but have hit a weight plateau but I am trying not to get discouraged. I can see how over time it would be discouraging. Thanks for the article and being so positive. The best advice you gave was that you cant be perfect....just a bite at at time. Sounds good to me too! The one thing that I feel helped me the most was I went to a nutritionalist. Since i was unfamiliar with a diabetic diet it helped me get a handle on what I could and could not eat. Again, thanks for the advice.
Robin
Posted by: Robin Marczewski | September 11, 2007 02:52 PM