Editor's Note: While this columnist is no longer writing for dLife.com and we have ceased to update the information contained herein, there is much to be read here that is still applicable to the lives of people with diabetes. If you wish to act on anything you learn here, be sure to consult your doctor first. Please enjoy the column!
April 2011 — At the moment you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, all doubts about whether or not they are really the one seem to wash away. This is going to be forever, no matter what crosses your path along the way. Money issues, health concerns, even problems in the bedroom — you truly believe that your love will be able to overcome it all.
What a crushing blow it can be to realize that, perhaps for you, love will not conquer all for you and your partner.
That is where I am, somewhere between the wedding day and divorce proceedings, somewhere I never imagined I would be when I said "yes" to the marriage proposal and "I will" in the marriage vows.
The only diabetes on my radar today is my own type 2 diabetes, which sadly has suffered through the last few months as we divided our cats, our belongings, and our memories. So much so that I am giving metformin another try and starting a formal exercise program soon with Team Wild, complete with certified diabetes educators and coaches.
Additionally, there are new financial concerns related to diabetes I never thought I would need to consider unless he had lost his job or became disabled, things that I doubted would happen anytime soon. Things like how to eat healthy while on a tight budget, finding a job with good health insurance, and finding a big enough space (that allows cats) to hold my snowshoes, bicycle, and elliptical machine.
Still, there is something freeing about starting fresh. It's refreshing to focus on the rest of your life. While there is certainly stress surrounding money and legal issues, it may be different and less than the stress that had been building up for quite some time regarding the relationship. Without following the schedules of two people, I feel there is more time to exercise. I can choose whether I allow flour, bread, pasta, and desserts into my small apartment, though so far I have not, other than the occasional ice cream.
Instead of turning to my husband for support with diabetes frustrations, I find comfort in family and longtime friends who check in with me, and vice versa, more often than before. Thank goodness for the diabetes online community and my closest friends within that group. While talking with my mother weekly and updating friends every few weeks does help, I need the help of those who understand how personal stress can result in wild blood glucose fluctuations.
Do I regret talking about the dueling diabetes, back when two people with diabetes shared a home? A little. Though I think the more I became an advocate, the more he learned about his own type 1 diabetes, something that accompanied him into our marriage. I wish him all the best in the future, and hope he manages good health for many years to come.
Disclaimer dLife's Viewpoints columnists are not all medical experts, but everyday people living with diabetes and sharing their personal experiences, most often at a set point in time. While their method of diabetes management may work for them, everyone is different. Please consult with your diabetes care team before acting on anything you read here to find out what will work best for you.
Last Modified Date: June 03, 2013
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dLife's Sex & Intimacy Content is contributed & moderated by
Janis Roszler MSFT, RD, CDE, LDN
Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N is the American Association of Diabetes Educators' 2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year. She is a certified diabetes educator, marriage and family therapist, and registered dietitian. Her books include Sex and Diabetes (ADA) Diabetes on your OWN Terms (Marlowe & Co) and The Secrets of Living and Loving with Diabetes (Surrey books).
Donna Rice MSW, BSN, RN, CDE
Donna Rice MBA,RN,CDE,FAADE is the 2007 Past President of the American Association of Diabetes Educators. She is a registered nurse, diabetes educator and has developed numerous educational programs on sexual health and wellness. She is the co-author of Sex and Diabetes (ADA) and Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction - A Quick ‘n' Easy Handbook For the Diabetes Educator (Bella Vita). Her newest publication is a children's book, The Magic is Me (Searchlight Press).