Editor's Note: While this columnist is no longer writing for dLife.com and we have ceased to update the information contained herein, there is much to be read here that is still applicable to the lives of people with diabetes. If you wish to act on anything you learn here, be sure to consult your doctor first. Please enjoy the column!
June 2008 —My husband, Bob, just asked me if I need a cookie and it really ticks me off! It sounds sweet doesn't it, a man offering his wife a cookie? At our house, when he asks me if I need a cookie it is a code. It means "You just screwed something up and could it be because your blood sugar is low?" No, it is not! I just messed up, without diabetes being involved.
I do make mistakes, lots of them, but I hate when he blames everything on my blood sugar. Diabetes is a major part of my life (I should say our lives), but it is not who I am totally. There is a LOT more to me than just a disease! I have a family, a house, a job, a life, so sometimes I get stressed. I work really hard and I get tired. And sometimes (more often than I want to admit), I'm just a big goof ball. There are all kinds of reasons I make mistakes. Maybe he should ask if I need an aspirin, a chair, or time to rethink a response instead of offering that cookie.
I, myself, say things to our children that are codes. When they stop by to visit they always leave with a goodbye hug, I tell them to be careful and be good. My oldest son, Matt, once asked me why I always say "be good." Did I think he didn't behave out on his own? I know all three of my children are responsible. I trust their behavior at all times, well, most times. But I always say "be good" to each of them when they leave. Telling them to be good is a way of saying I care about you, I love you. "Be good" is a sort of… term of endearment. That's it - a term of endearment.
Hmmm … "Be good" is like "Do you need a cookie?" Maybe I need to rethink getting so upset over Bob's question. At least he isn't asking why I'm such a goof ball (who knows the answer to that). Maybe "Do you need a cookie?" isn't such an offensive question after all.
Disclaimer dLife's Viewpoints columnists are not all medical experts, but everyday people living with diabetes and sharing their personal experiences, most often at a set point in time. While their method of diabetes management may work for them, everyone is different. Please consult with your diabetes care team before acting on anything you read here to find out what will work best for you.
Last Modified Date: May 23, 2013
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Janis Roszler MSFT, RD, CDE, LDN
Janis Roszler, MSFT, RD, CDE, LD/N is the American Association of Diabetes Educators' 2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year. She is a certified diabetes educator, marriage and family therapist, and registered dietitian. Her books include Sex and Diabetes (ADA) Diabetes on your OWN Terms (Marlowe & Co) and The Secrets of Living and Loving with Diabetes (Surrey books).
Donna Rice MSW, BSN, RN, CDE
Donna Rice MBA,RN,CDE,FAADE is the 2007 Past President of the American Association of Diabetes Educators. She is a registered nurse, diabetes educator and has developed numerous educational programs on sexual health and wellness. She is the co-author of Sex and Diabetes (ADA) and Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction - A Quick ‘n' Easy Handbook For the Diabetes Educator (Bella Vita). Her newest publication is a children's book, The Magic is Me (Searchlight Press).