Beating Diabetes (Continued)

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Let’s take Sonia as an example. Food and desserts are always out on the counter at her workplace, and whenever she walked by any of the food, she said to herself, “That looks delicious. ”She tasted the food and then thought, “This tastes good. I want some more.” She ate more and thought, “That’s OK. I’ll make up for it later.” The next day, the same inner dialogue occurred, and again Sonia overate and found that her weight was up instead of down at the end of the week. She decided to become more conscious of her self-talk and to challenge it. She walked by a tray of cookies and said to herself. “That looks good, but I’m not hungry, and if I start eating those cookies I will have a hard time stopping, and then my progress with losing weight will get stalled.” She passed the cookies.

Later she went by, and only half of a cookie was left. She said to herself, “That looks good; there’s only a small piece left and that won’t do any harm. But I don’t want to get started on that today. I’ve done so well this week.” She again passed on the cookie. She lost three pounds that week.

As you start to monitor your self-talk, listen for certain types of negative self-talk patterns.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Many of us tend to think of ourselves and our personal qualities in the extremes. We are either “good” or “bad,” “a success” or “a failure,” “on the diet program” or “off the diet program.” If you think in these extremes, you might set unrealistic goals; for example, “I will never eat desserts,” or, “I will walk every night after dinner.” This type of goal setting expects perfection and because it is unrealistic sets you up to feel like a failure. The remedy: beware of thinking that includes words like good or bad, always or never. Instead, work toward a balanced view, and remember that one slip isn’t the end of the world. In reality, true lifestyle change is a process that is typically two steps forward and one step back. Now, that’s a realistic expectation.

Should Statements

Many people try to motivate themselves by saying “I should” do this, or “I have to” do that. “Should” statements often backfire because they can trigger feelings of guilt, shame, resentment, and anger that do not motivate in the least. The remedy: reframe “should” statements as “want” statements. For example, instead of saying to yourself, “I should walk every day,” try saying, “I want to walk four times per week so that I build some stamina and burn some calories to help with my weight loss.”

Filtering or Disqualifying the Positive

Many of us have a tendency to magnify the negatives of a situation while at the same time filtering out or diminishing any positive aspects—seeing the glass as half empty rather than half full. For example, let’s say you keep focusing on the fact that while you were on vacation you strayed from your healthy eating plans and gained two pounds. You might decide, “Well, there goes the last month of dieting. I may as well eat whatever I want.” You’ve essentially squashed any positives in the situation. The remedy: reframe your view. You could also legitimately say, “I really enjoyed my vacation. I did keep up with my activity goal. Overall I have still lost six pounds. I just need to refocus on my lifestyle goals now that my vacation is over. Next time, I’ll plan to set a goal for maintaining my weight over vacation.”

Excuses

It’s easy to blame someone or something for our problems rather than taking responsibility for choices we make. Many of us say, “I have to buy these cookies and have them available for my children to eat,” “I have no willpower,” or, “It’s too cold to walk.” The remedy: change these self-talk statements to ones such as, “I could buy my children healthy treats we all could enjoy so the whole family’s eating habits can improve.” Or, “It is hard to change long-term eating habits, but I can give it a try and see how it works.” Or, “I’ll try to dress with layers and start walking. If it gets too cold, I’ll stop, although as I walk I may warm up.”

Negative Labeling

Some people constantly stick negative labels on themselves and their efforts. Any error or slip becomes a reason to be self-critical. Instead of noting, “I didn’t exercise this week,” a negative labeler would think, “I’m fat and lazy,” or, “I’m such a failure; I knew I couldn’t do it.” The remedy: do not translate a slip in behavior into self-criticism or a character flaw. Try saying, “One slip isn’t the end of the world. Slips are normal and to be expected. I’ll get back on track now.”

Doom, Gloom, and Giving Up

A doom-and-gloomer jumps to conclusions well ahead of time without any real evidence, expecting failure and making selfdefeating self-talk statements such as, “This program is too hard. I just knew I would regain the weight once I got started.” The remedy: mentally rewrite these statements to be one step at a time. Try, “I’ve learned something about what is hard for me. I’ll try a different strategy next time.”

Strategies for Improving Your Self-Talk

Carefully monitor your self-talk. Replace your sabotaging selftalk statements with helpful and positive self-talk statements as often as you can. Write down the negative self-talk statements that you notice, and see whether they really make sense. Are the statements logical, reasonable, or helpful to you and your lifestyle goals for weight loss? Would you talk to a friend that way? If not, reframe the statements to be logical, reasonable, and supportive of your efforts.

Create positive self-talk statements, and repeat them frequently so that they eventually displace your old, negative selftalk statements. Make positive self-talk statements visible in your environment. For example, post a sign on your refrigerator and kitchen cabinets that says, “I am committed to healthy eating and a healthy weight loss.” And remember to ask yourself, “Am I really hungry? If I’m not hungry, then what is it?” Help yourself to identify why you are eating, what your self-talk statements are, and how they affect your eating behavior.