In Which We Get Lazy
Trying to get back on track with my diabetes management.
By Kathryn Foss
I've talked a lot about my journey on Victoza the last few months and at this point, almost a year in, it has become part of my routine and daily life. No more nausea, no more lack of appetite, everything is normal. It's good when things incorporate seamlessly and everything is going as it should. Until it doesn't.
For me, as a drug-dependent type 2, I find myself relying too heavily on the drugs for control. And that is what happened the last few months for me. I have gotten lazy. I hardly test my blood sugar anymore and I don't really watch what I eat. I assume that the drugs will regulate everything. So, the other day I decided to dust off my tester and just see where I was at about 2 hours after dinner. The results were not pretty. I was well over the recommended "under 120" mark. I also decided to test my fasting blood sugar the next morning, and again, I was close to 140. I did a few days of testing and my numbers overall were way too high.
I think in the back of my mind, I wasn't surprised, but it didn't stop me from being disappointed in myself. I know better. I know I should be testing regularly, but it's just easier to leave my testing equipment at home on my bedside table. Testing my blood sugar also forces me to be accountable. To some, it may seem silly to be accountable to a plastic tester machine, but the machine KNOWS. It keeps records — records I have to deliver to my endocrinologist. And then he'll look at them and be like, "Why are your numbers so high?" and then I'll have to answer for my actions three months earlier! Sadly, sometimes it's easier to say, "I lost my monitor and this is my new one, so I don't have any records in it yet." Does that sound awful and pitiful? Yes, it does, but sadly, I have used that one before. I'm not sure the doctor believed me, but he let it slide. And to be honest (which is ironic since I just admitted to a lie in the previous sentence), some days it just feels good to not have to worry about testing six to eight times a day. But inevitably it comes back to bite me in the rear.
I have a new A1C test scheduled in December and I am dreading it, as I'm sure it's gone up. I don't want to invent a story for my doctor. I just want to say, "You know what, I got lazy and I'm sorry." But at this stage in the game, five years into my diagnosis, that excuse doesn't fly as well as it used to. My doctor's tolerance for laziness is not very generous for his "mature" patients with diabetes. I know better and he knows that I know better. So really, if I'm not going to make up an elaborate story about my "lost" monitor, or conveniently forget Norwegian and have a language barrier at my next appointment, that means I just have to act like a mature person, stop being lazy, and start paying attention again. It means regular testing and better eating, and it means more accountability.
I suppose this is as good a time as any to make a New Year's resolution since we are fast approaching 2012, so here is to new beginnings! To making a renewed effort to treat my body well and respect it by keeping my levels where they should be. To being honest with myself and my doctor and to bringing my hot pink tester back into regular rotation. There. I said it. That feels better and it's just in time for the holidays and all the culinary challenges that come with it! So, from Norway to you, wishing you and yours a joyous holiday season full of laughter, good food, and really great blood sugar readings.
dLife's Daily Living columnists are not all medical experts, but everyday people living with diabetes and sharing their personal experiences. While their method of diabetes management may work for them, everyone is different. Please consult with your diabetes care team to find out what will work best for you.
Posole Anchovy Puffs Apricot-Rice Custard Apple Meatballs Steak and Mushroom Sandwich Turkey Veggie Hearts Cheese and Vegetable Rarebit Twist of Feta Salad Asian Glazed Roasted Pork Sherry-Fig Vinaigrette
As a Type A personality with a perfectionist streak, diabetes management is something that easily gets under my skin. If I can’t do something perfect, then I’d much rather just not do it at all. Which is why burnout creeps up on me super fast. A few days of pesky numbers and I am ready to throw all things diabetes out the window and watch it get hit by an 18-wheeler. So attempting to get my A1c into the lowest possible range ever has proven incredibly tasking for my perfectionist...