But sometimes I need something different. I have lived with type 1 diabetes for over 30 years now. I like to think that I know most of the mechanics, at least at a basic level. But every now and then something happens that I just can't explain. I had a low last night that I spent about two hours working on. I exercised incredible restraint and patience, but things were just not holding me up. I ate a grand total of around 150-200 grams of carbohydrates. That is not an exaggeration. Glucose tabs, soda, Snickers bar (full size), glucose tabs, another Snickers bar, and more glucose tabs. What was my morning blood sugar after all of that food? It was about 126 mg/dl.
As much as I love and support the folks at Dex4, I am not going to eat 150 carb grams of glucose tabs. I'm not a doctor or a scientist, and I don't have any good logical explanation for what happened. But it did happen.
That scary experience is a perfect example of why I need to have carbs available. I need them. They are medically necessary to prevent really bad situations (including death).
How do I balance the need to face a "worst case scenario" with the desire to eat those carbs when I'm not low? Control the desire? Control my cravings? Control my appetite? Yes. But I know that I can't count on willpower alone. It's not dependable enough yet.
I'm going to spend some time exploring other options. I'm going to talk with my family about what I'm struggling with, and try to come up with some possible solutions that work for everybody.
Getting some insight from Lee Ann was very helpful, and I'm thankful for her willingness to listen and talk with me. Having a healthy mental and physical relationship with food takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I'm going to keep working on all of this, knowing that even a baby-step in the right direction is that much closer to where I want to be.
dLife's Viewpoints columnists are not all medical experts, but everyday people living with diabetes and sharing their personal experiences, most often at a set point in time. While their method of diabetes management may work for them, everyone is different. Please consult with your diabetes care team before acting on anything you read here to find out what will work best for you.
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I had a bad one last night. A scary low bloodsugar that reminded me just how tenuous diabetes makes my existence. I hate those. I hate the feeling that I'm anything less than a strong, capable woman. Diabetes, like a sledge hammer to the knees, has a way of hobbling the confidence I have in my health, strength and well-being. It is both frustrating and disheartening. It's 2:00 am and a good friend called from their third shift job because they needed someone. Just...