One week into my revised blood glucose monitoring plan and the results are scary. Actually, "atrocious" is the word I used when e-mailing my doctor begging for help. The numbers are so bad that I found myself hiding my logs from my mom when she came over last week. It's that bad.

Prior to having a baby, I was very much in control of my diabetes. I have been a more than compliant patient from diagnosis through the birth of my son. So when my doctor suggested I need to take it easy and lay off the obsessive testing for a while, I took his advice.

Of course, I tend to do things in extremes. "Take it easy" turned into "don't test at all, unless you're feeling low." Now I can see how easy it is to ignore a disease that has virtually no symptoms.

After being diagnosed in 2003, I read all I could get my hands on about diabetes. "Blindness, dialysis, amputation" was my mantra when faced with cake or cookies. I was able to stay strong despite such huge obstacles by remembering the health consequences of my actions. I was able to turn away from sweets for the first time in my life. And testing regularly was a big part of that. If I ate something I shouldn't, the results would show immediately on the meter. Of course, once I started taking insulin, I discovered I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I covered it with enough insulin (hence the way insulin leads to weight gain).

Taking time off from testing was interesting. I still did my best to follow a healthy diet, shunning white flour, sugar, corn syrup and other processed carbs, and restricting healthy carbs throughout the day. I limited the sugar-free but empty calorie treats and really focused on eating healthy fare, including one to two servings of fruit a day. I tried to exercise as much as I could (not very much) and at the very least keep active around the house. All in all, I thought I was putting in a very good effort.

Then, on January 1, I started testing my blood sugar again, not so much as part of a New Year's Resolution, but gearing up to see my doctor at the end of the month. The results are scary, inconsistent and unpredictable. Fastings between 126 and 205. I've only had one premeal reading under 100 (which is where I like them to be) and that is cancelled out by the two 198s. Bedtime has been anywhere from 127 to 215. I'm not taking post-meal readings, but I shutter to think of what they may be. At this point, I'm thinking my a1c is going to be pretty close to what it was at diagnosis.

I heard back from my doctor last night and I'm doubling my insulin this week, and adding metformin back into the mix. Hopefully next week I'll have better news to report.