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November 21st, 2008
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It was still dark when the baby started fussing this morning. I quietly rushed to her room so that neither her crying nor my footsteps on the creaky wood in our century-old house would wake anyone else.

"Shhh, shh, shh," I consoled as I picked her up, bouncing gently hoping she would think it was still nighttime.

Her pointer and middle fingers promptly went into her mouth and she rested her head on my shoulder. Those baby snuggles are something so wonderful. We quietly walked back to my room where we climbed into bed with The Mr. Who was snoring. As usual.

No. 3 settled fairly well for it being around 6 a.m. I knew I should have counted my blessings yesterday when we all slept until almost 8 a.m.

Listening to the rhythmic snoring and the intermittent sound of No. 3 sucking on her fingers, I started to hear my body talking to me, as well.

My heart was beating a little faster than I thought it should. It must just have been from all the "commotion", I tried to tell myself.

My eyes were closed and I could feel the coolness from the ceiling fan.

I felt the warm rush of blood to my face. You're just settling down from getting jolted awake, I tried to convince myself.

I was getting more comfortable and I could feel myself slowly drifting to sleep. The warmth of the blankets and the baby's soft skin were begging me to stay in bed.

Maybe I should check my sugar, I thought rather consciously. What was I before bed? 73 after dinner, I remembered. But then I had that glass of milk before bed. I should be fine, I thought. Besides, if I move I'll likely wake the baby and then we'll all be up for the day. I know my body, I thought. I know that as long as I stay here and don't move I'll be fine. The second I make a move for my meter that's when I'll be low.

I allowed myself to settle again. Drifting quickly back to sleep, ignoring my body and my brain screaming to me that I needed to do something other than sleep.

Is this how it ends, I wondered (again rather consciously). Dueling parts of my brain and my body tugging at me to do drastically different things and the worst part winning out? Is this what it feels like to just go to sleep and never wake up? Would this ever really happen?

I woke up an hour or so later. I felt fine. Fairly quickly, though, after getting out of bed, that low finally hit me. I wondered how low I would be, almost fantasized about seeing numbers in the 50s and 40s, and then scolded myself for this weirdness I was experiencing.

I was 64, although I felt much lower considering I have had several numbers in the 50s in the last few days and felt perfectly normal.



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Excellent post, Michelle, although a trifle scary. Maybe you could keep a meter and a juice box or two right next to the bed, so you can test without rousing the baby. I know all too well what it's like to soothe a baby back to sleep - you're almost afraid to breath for fear of waking them up again! And I don't have diabetes to throw in the mix.


After several lows or times when I thought I was low, I did finally put a meter and some hard candy next to my bed. But that's how out of it I was that day...the meter was literally right next to me.


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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)

Latest Posts: Waiting Impatiently for CGMS OK | Back to the Find-A-Doctor Drawing Board | A Day in My Life

Rebecca Abma
What happens when a health writer develops a chronic illness? As Rebecca K. Abma can tell you, it turns into an obsession. Since being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in December 2003, 90 percent of her non-work computer time is spent researching the disease and chatting with fellow diabetics. (Read More)

Latest Posts: Mail Order Madness | Dreaming of Diabetes | Superstitious

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