Dear Metformin,

It has come to light in the last week that you have developed a couple of rather unacceptable behaviors over the last few months, and due to my strict zero-tolerance policy for medications that cause me problems, I must inform you that your services are no longer needed here. To put it bluntly, You're Fired!

When you were first hired about a year ago, you did your job well.  You helped me maintain fairly decent blood glucose levels, and assisted in the lowering of my A1C numbers.  And the side effects that several people had warned me about never appeared.  All was going well until about three months ago, and then you changed.

Something evidently happened to your work ethic, because you've been seriously slacking off.  You haven't been working as hard to help me keep my blood glucose levels down.  I first noticed a potential problem when reviewing my glucose logs for the last couple of months.  There were more and more readings well above 200 mg/dl.  The doctor confirmed there was a problem on Thursday when she told me my latest A1C was up to 6.4.  It had been 6.0 for about 7 months prior, and there haven't been any real changes in my diet, etc...

And, as if that wasn't enough, you just had to go and start causing crap. Literally!  Out of no where, all of those nasty stomach related side effects that I had been warned about started appearing.  The frequent flare ups of stomach cramps, nausea, and diarrhea have driven me insane, and have cost me both in terms of days off work and extra doctor's visit co-pays. I'm sorry, Metformin, but that's just not acceptable.

I really did expect a lot more from you, Metformin, as you had been working so well for me, and came highly recommended by the doctor and some of my friends who also have diabetes.  Hopefully, you'll work much better for someone else.

Sincerely,

Mike Durbin.