Scanning the aisles of the grocery store, I was looking for something brownie-ish. As usual, I was assaulted by the donut counter as soon as I walked in the door (location, location, location!). But with no chocolate cake donuts with chocolate icing, it was easy for me to walk past. I quickly perused the bakery area for something tantalizing, and was actually pleased that nothing struck my fancy.

I have learned lately that when I have a craving I have to be very specific with myself or I wind up eating more that I bargained for because I'm not satisfied. So I can't go after something that's "just chocolate." I have to consider texture, temperature and portion size.

Little Debbie had something that would do. It wasn't fresh-baked with icing, but it was going to do the trick for my hormone-induced-angry-at-my-period chocolate desperation. I surprised myself by actually waiting until I got home to break into the box. But just one wasn't going to do. And we'll leave it at that; I'm ashamed to get any more specific.

It's at this time of the month-and often for two more weeks until my period starts-that I tend to get a little more out of control than usual. And mainly it's because my appetite is like the weather lately; it engulfs me as if I were standing outside covered in a wet fleece blanket in August. There is no hiding, no forgetting about being hungry, no satisfaction, no getting away.

I paid dearly this morning for my splurge last night with a fasting over 300 that kept me from going on my morning walk. Not only that, but my body felt simply rotten. I was mentally fatigued, sluggish and, frankly, damn angry. So angry, in fact, that I put my Novolog pen in my purse so I could use it for the carb-laden breakfast I was going get at some fast food restaurant because a sensible breakfast wasn't going to cut it today. The same Novolog my endo advised me not to use in conjunction with Byetta because it might cause a bad low. I wasn't listening to reason this morning. I just wanted to eat and not be hungry and not be high. Is that too much to ask?

I came to my senses and passed on the Novolog partly because I didn't want to open a new pen and essentially waste the rest of the medicine since I would likely only be taking that one dose. But I remained hungry all day, drinking gallons of water and nibbling on graham crackers in an attempt to salvage my blood sugar. This is what my period-that won't start for another two to three weeks-does to me. It's a cycle that I haven't figured out how to break.