I never meant to take a six-week vacation. It started with the intention of just a few days off. A rest. A break from diabetes and all things that go along with it. Testing, tracking, carb counting and, most obviously to dLife, blogging.

I just needed a few days off. It started around Memorial Day, and here it is the middle of summer and I am completely off track.

So, as of today, as of this moment, I am back.

Although I didn't take my fasting blood sugar this morning, or my medicine at dinner last night, at 9:30 a.m., I will take my two-hour post-breakfast reading. And write it down. On an official form. That I will show my doctor. When I get around to making that July appointment.

Yup, diabetes, I'm back.

I guess to fully get back on track, I need to come clean about my bad ways. It's confession time. In truth, other than acting like I don't have diabetes, I wasn't that "bad". I didn't revert back to my old behaviors. I did not eat brownies, or pizza, or fast-food of any kind. I did not return to white bread, or carby snacks. In fact, with the exception of a nightly cup of ice cream (courtesy of the new ice cream maker I bought my hubby for Father's Day), I ate pretty healthy.

But, boy was it nice to not worry about. To not obsess. To not care too much over what to eat or when to eat. To not count points, or calories or carbs.  For the most part, I just ate healthy. Eggs and veggies for breakfast, salad and protein for lunch, grilled fish or chicken, with veggies and a wholegrain side dish for dinner. Snacks of nuts or soy chips. And lots and lots of water. My dietary vices, a cup of coffee (with cream) in the morning and a glass of wine (or two) in the evening.

I suppose part of the reason I didn't care so much about testing or tracking is that I've been doing the diabetes thing long enough (almost 5 years now!) to know what I can and can't eat without too much trouble. And it helps that I am on the right meds now, which makes it almost effortless.

But that brings me to my other confession. I don't always take my meds. While they are by far the easiest meds I've been on, Metformin and Prandin, sometimes I do have unwanted side effects. Particularly low blood sugar after dinner. And, of course, weight gain. I'm not sure if the pills themselves cause weight gain, or if it's treating the lows that make it hard to lose weight. Either way,not always taking my meds has made it easier to shed some weight. (All told, I've lost 44 pounds from peak pregnancy weight. Granted, 30 pounds fell off in the first month after having Danny, but I've had to fight for ever pound since.)

Another thing I haven't done much of is complain about diabetes. I've always been the type of writer who only seems to have something to say when she is mad. And diabetes is easy to get mad at.

As I watch the clock in the corner of my computer, ticking away until its time to test my blood sugar, I can feel myself getting annoyed already. Seriously, watching the clock, waiting to test my blood sugar, to me, it feels like a major inconvenience. I can feel the anger, the injustice and the complaints that come along with it, rising in me.

So yeah, diabetes, I'm back.