I came across this article recently from the BD Newsletter and it got me thinking about how Olivia behaves when her blood sugar is high.
Normally, she's your average teen-ager. She's sometimes sullen, sometimes goofy, sometimes talkative, all in a five minute span. But when her blood sugar is high, she can become weepy, rude, argumentative and very, very unpleasant. The really high highs make her feel sick, but it's the somewhat high highs that I loathe.
If she's floating around 200, her mood becomes just about impossible. Nothing pleases her, she pouts, she mopes and she generally behaves as though she's lost her last friend. The drama! Oh, the drama. That's usually when I come out with the "You'd better be high" phrase. And boy, do you get weird looks from people when you say that in the grocery store or mall. I admit to having very little patience for this type of behaviour. Olivia's a rather moody child at the best of times, so these moderate highs seem to bring out that side of her even more than usual.
I try not to snap when she acts like that, but I do think she needs to bear some responsibility for her behaviour. She's not a baby any more and she's had diabetes for long enough to know what a high blood sugar feels like and what it does to her mood. I always suggest that she check her blood sugar when she starts acting snotty. I get rolling eyes and heaving sighs, but she always complies (ooh, dig that rhyme, man) and when she comes up with a high number, I smirk. I do refrain from saying "Told you so." Magnanimous of me, huh?
This process of allowing her to figure this disease out on her own is difficult. I'm very eager to jump in and fix it and to explain away her behaviour with her blood sugar readings. But as she becomes more and more independent, she's going to have to start taking on that responsibility. I want her to learn to not use diabetes as an excuse. I think that may be a trap it's easy to fall into and one I want to avoid for her, if at all possible.
Thanks for the laugh - "you'd better be high" spoken in public must raise eyebrows indeed!
I'm torn, J. Certainly, bloodsugar readings shouldn't be an excuse for bad behavior BUT the physical toll has emotional and mental consequences. I know when I'm high for more than a reading or two or over more than a couple of hours, I just avoid others altogether if I can until I can get it down, because I have a hard time controlling my mouth, my rages, etc. As much as I feel a person can take control - and try to get a handle - sometimes, getting a handle on mood that's runaway from you because of bloodsugar is as difficult as getting a handle on the bloodsugars themselves.
I totally understand that, Nicole. What I was trying to get across (and probably didn't very well) was that she needs to recognize highs the way she does with lows. She can when they're high enough to make her feel horrible, but it's the crankies from a 200 that I want her to think about. And maybe that's not possible, maybe she's just too hormonal and being a teen ager and I'm asking too much. I like feedback like this because it lets me know if my expectations are too high or if I'm being reasonable.
I agree with Nicole. High levels are not nearly as easy to recognize as lows are. In fact, I don't get a "ooh I must be high" feeling at all. So it's not fair to tell her she should always check her blood sugar if she is just in a bad mood. I'm 32 and if I had anyone telling me I better be high when cranky, well, I would have much more attitude than your teenager. I don't think her not checking her levels when cranky has much to do with teenage hormone fluctuations.
From my perspective, high bloodsugar is much more difficult to recognize. Maybe because, until it gets really bad, its symptoms are mostly mood and emotion related. And no one wants to think that their bad day - a bad day they may be entitled to - is rooted in diabetes. Sometimes, I think "Am I just in a lousy mood - or could this be related to the d?" And that, in and of itself is frustrating - that not knowing - that feeling like one's emotions are so out of control. Even when I recognize and treat the high, I can be cranky BECAUSE the mood was/is related to bloodsugar.
I don't think it's too much to expect to ask O to consider that her bad mood might be related to diabetes - but I know from experience that sometimes, the discovery that there is a connection only perpetuates the misery.
OK, I can see that. I guess I'd rather think "Well, let me get this down, deal with the high and then deal with the mood." I don't know, I'm not the person with diabetes, though. The only thing I can equate it to, mood-wise, is depression. I know that when I'm in the middle of a depression cycle, mood, whatever the term is, I KNOW I'm in it and most of the time, I know it will pass. That I just have the struggle thru it and get out the other side. I don't know what a high blood sugar feels like and I don't know if rationalizing it is even possible.
I kind of feel like I don't have the right words to explain what I'm looking for here. I don't want Olivia to feel bad because her blood sugar is high. I just don't want her to stay in a crappy mood if it's ONLY related to her blood sugar. She's got plenty of things she can be pissed off about and I don't mind her being angry. What I don't want is for her to be out of control angry when she doesn't have to be, if that out of control anger is fueled by the situation AND by a high blood sugar.
I'm not standing over her every time she gets pissed off, telling her to check. It's just when she gets into a real snit, slamming doors, kicking the walls and generally behaving like a tantruming two year-old that I make her check. God, if I had her check for every bad mood, I'd go thru 8,000 test strips a month.