With all the blood that diabetes care involves, it's no wonder the "vampire" image keeps coming into play. A former T2 co-worker referred to going for blood work as "seeing the Vampire". Kerri's Diabetes Terms of Endearment list includes the entry, "Vampire cannula". For those who live in fear of (fictional) vampires, every time we prick our fingers to test... has to include the scary thought, "Am I inviting a vampire to bite me?"

I'm not a vampire fan per se. I enjoyed Forever Knight when it was on the air, as well as Moonlight, and the tragically short-lived Kindred: the Embraced TV series -- but aside that and a few P.N. Elrod books, it's not my genre. However, hanging out online with a bunch of "FK" fans leads to comparisons between the different vampire universes, and discussion about succumbing to the lure of a suave, sexy nightstalker.

Several of these milieux describe vampires as being able to smell humans' lifeblood across the skin barrier, and use that to choose their intended victims. Young, pretty girls are said to taste sweeter, like dessert wine; young men are testosterone-filled and full of life, while older folk have less blood and can be compared as mutton to lamb.

But maybe that's not quite the case.

When I was little, my mother used to "explain" my tendency to attract more insect bites than everyone else by saying I had "sweet blood", which attracted said bugs. For the most part, I took this as another one of those maternal endearments which had nothing to do with anything other than (unsuccessfully) trying to palliate a child's discomfort. 

The summer following diagnosis, when I was still at the strictest in my diet and I was still on oral medications, was probably the most insect-bite-free summer I've had in my life. The few bites I had were pretty minor and went away in a few days. Then, when I was less vigilant, and my blood glucose levels more in the 100's to 120's (rather than 80's and 90's) the bites came back -- and worse than ever. While at least some of this may be a result of weight fluctuations and different physical environments, it's very easy for a snippet like "sweet blood" to come out of deep memory storage (especially since the blood of people with diabetes is measurably "sweeter" than that of "normal" folk).

So in the interests of fun and fiction, I submit the following:

• Because people with diabetes have sweeter blood than non-diabetics, we are at much higher risk of vampire attack.
• In order to not bait vampires to your door, take care to dispose of your sharps containers, dead strips, used lancets, and other blood-bearing trash outside of vampire flight range.
• If a vampire comes trick-or-treating to your door, SWAG bolus before answering -- or if you want to invite him in, drink enough sweet dessert wine to get moderately drunk first.
• Vampire foreplay can occur before or after glucose testing, site changes, and injections. Please make sure your blood glucose is at a safe level before consenting to vampire activity.
• No scientific data exist to determine whether vampiric conversion cures diabetes. You may still need an insulin pump and CGM when you go flying around for your next meal.
• No scientific data exist to determine whether the "children" of diabetic vampires will become diabetic -- either upon conversion, or later in unlife.
• No scientific data exist to determine the length of a diabetic vampire's unlife compared to that of his non-diabetic maker/master.

Please remember that the above recommendations refer only to fictional vampires, not to real children, adults, or animals in vampire costumes. Or to anyone else who tries to suck the life out of you. Engage vampires at your own risk. Vampire attack has been proven fatal to fictional characters. This post may contain content unsuitable for readers under the age of thirteen. The age of consent may vary in your jurisdiction, so these warnings may not apply to you. Remember, only you can prevent vampire bites.