Weaning off then completely stopping the progesterone has been interesting. I've definitely felt my old symptoms come back, like I mentioned last week. A drop in mood, fatigue, and some of the joint pain are the main issues. But there have also been positive changes.

Like the level of pre-period pelvic pain didn't start the usual two weeks out. Of course, my period could be another two weeks away since they are incredibly irregular. But so far, I've only had maybe 2 days of pelvic pain as opposed to a usual 5-10 days. If I could limit it without progesterone, the endometriosis surgery might completely clear whatever else is causing the pain. We'll have to wait to see about that one though.

The other positive change is my skin. It's been getting better slowly over the last two months or so, but now I'm actually having days where I don't get any new breakouts at all. I went three or four days recently without one new breakout! But then yesterday, I had several. So I'm not sure if I should get so excited yet or not. But the hyperpigmentation from the old ones is definitely lessening with time and topical treatments.

All these changes have me thinking of how it'll be when it's all said and done. I've been waiting for quite awhile to be symptom-free. Now I don't expect a complete absence of symptoms. But I do expect that they will be lessened and more manageable with the right care. So how will I handle this change?

I can definitely think of a few things off the top of my head that I can't wait to experience (again):

• Taking less than an hour to get ready in the morning

• Sleeping in more

• Not feeling compelled to do all of my makeup before running to the grocery store

• Going to the gym at any time of day, no matter if I have plans after

• Spending less money on makeup every month

• Not running late to everything because of how I look

• Spending the night at friend's houses

• Feeling comfortable with myself

Sometimes I wonder how much of all that will really change. It's habit now to feel uncomfortable in certain situations. It's routine to wake up an hour and a half before anything starts. So when it's all over with, will I actually change? Or will the habits be so ingrained that it won't even matter anymore?

I'm looking forward to finding out for sure. Now I just have to make a few final choices before getting on with that aspect of my life. Do I go on Accutane? Or do I continue to see how the absence of progesterone works? Do I work on treating the hyperpigmentation now or do I wait until we've resolved everything?

I decided to go on birth control, so I'm interested to see if that helps any since the current breakouts could be centralized to my period. But the Accutane requires specific tests, which I've already set up. And it's something I'd like to do sooner, rather than later if I'm going to do it. So I have about two weeks before I need to completely decide.

Until then, I'm relishing in the progress and hoping for the best without extensive treatment (i.e. Accutane).