It's my time...to have the best of both worlds.

The last week has been filled with high numbers. Consistent results in the 300's. Morning numbers in the 170's and higher. Only two lows, brought on by extensive Humalog use. 217 is not a pleasant average to look at.

I'm positive that I know exactly why these numbers are all so high. Which frustrates me (the reason, not the knowing). A bad mix of birth control pills and Accutane. Both have side effects like high blood sugar or blood sugar changes.

I'd definitely say these were high and definitely changed. And I'm very annoyed. I've raised my Lantus to 31 units in the evening, which has brought lower numbers for today. So I'll leave it at 31 units for the next day or two in order to see how it's working long term.

But the other necessary change that I can see is an insulin to carb ratio decrease. Instead of my usual 1 unit to every 10 grams of carbs, I need to consider lowering it to 1:8 or 1:9. This is the biggest frustration of all.

Because 1:9 or 1:8 really affects my insulin and food habits. For 1:10, I generally just maintain a 30 to 60 gram meal in order to keep my blood sugars in check with my insulin. But with odd amounts, I either have to change my eating habits, hook up to the pump for boluses, or give inaccurate insulin doses. None of which sound appealing to me.

I just can't stay this high anymore! For one, it's not helping the other side effects of the birth control and Accutane (like dry mouth, cracked lips, and nausea). And two, I have surgery next Thursday...I want my immune system up to par and my body at its best when I go under. So I need to kick these highs into yesterday faster than I can even say it.

So I think I'll try a 1:9 carb ratio until Friday (using my pump for the calculations, but not for injections) and try to get as accurate of insulin doses as possible by re-working my food choices (so going for 45 or 65 grams). Hopefully I can see some relief within the next 24 hours...which would give me at least a week to let my body recover from the past week of highs.

I am glad that I know why these highs are coming on so suddenly, but it's frustrating to know that I can't even take medications without my entire life being uprooted. On top of the usual side effects, I have to worry about blood sugar changes that leave me drowsy, thirsty, and numb. Things like this make me want to complain about this disease and all its intricacies.

It makes me want to shout how unfair this disease is. How diabetes is so pervasive. How life should be easier...it should be about getting relief from my issues from these medicines, instead of how these medicines are taking such an extensive toll on my body.

At least I'm staying on top of these issues and hopefully getting them under control within a timely manner. As long as they are easily overtaken (despite the upset and the need for more insulin which packs on the pounds), I'm okay with whatever they need to do in order to work. I'm strong enough to take a few months of this...I hope.