February 2010 marks my fifth anniversary with diabetes. I've been thinking about writing this post all month, though, clearly, I haven't found a way to write until the last day of the month.

I find that when I have an idea for a post -- say, a theme or a headline or just a quick idea -- but that I struggle writing it down it's usually because I just can't put my finger on the right words.

In five years I've been a lot of places with diabetes and learned a lot of things. I've had an A1C as high as 9 and as low as 5.9. I've lost 50 lb. and gained it back. I've been on oral drugs, I've taken Byetta and Symlin, I started on the pump. I had a beautiful baby.

In five years I've learned the ins and outs of life with diabetes. I've cursed it, I've thanked it, I've forgotten it, I've cursed it, I've lived with it. I've hated it.

In five years a lot has happened. I think one of the most important things is that I've learned to let things roll of my back. I learned that from The Mr. I still get angry at diabetes and I know that won't ever end. I still scream inside and pump my fists in frustration. But I've learned that it's OK to do that and then move on.

In five years I've learned to bite my tongue, I've learned when to speak up, I've learned that not everyone wants to hear my brand of care. I've learned that a casual, impromptu discussion about diabetes can sometimes be more powerful than a "lesson." 

And here I am, at the end of this post, still feeling like I haven't said that much, while knowing that I've really said a lot.

I've learned there will always be things to say about diabetes.