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I lost it yesterday.

It was hot and sticky yesterday evening and we had been at a barbecue to welcome our new pastor into town. After having a great time, we headed home to unwind, get some laundry done, and basically get ready for the work week ahead.

When I walked into my house it felt like a sauna. It was terribly hot and stuffy. I turned on the air conditioner to cool things down a bit and gathered up my laundry to do. As I walked through the living room I realized the cool breeze I usually get hit with from the vent was nonexistent. I stuck my hand up in front of the vent and felt a very faint draft but that was it.

I went outside to take a look at our circuit breaker just in case and sure enough, the circuit has tripped.

I pushed in the breaker and my wife turned the AC back on. As soon as it started I saw the little spinner thingy go into hyper speed and then BAM the circuit tripped again.

We tried a few more times until I just gave into the idea that we probably have a short somewhere and we would have to go without it. The problem of course is money. How could I ever afford to get my air conditioner fixed? We can hardly keep up with the bills. Here is another reminder of all the financial problems my family has been hit with.

I was angry and frustrated and hot! My wife made sandwiches for dinner so we didn’t heat up the house.

I grabbed my machine to test. And I thought I squeezed out enough blood for my strip but it turns out I was wrong. I hate wasting strips. I pulled it out of the machine, threw it in the trash, and open my vial to test again. Empty. Ugh, I grab a new vial from my strip stash and test again.

My BG was 395!

As soon as I saw the number I got so mad that I made a fist and slammed it down as hard as I could on the meter. When I moved my hand I saw a distorted, shattered screen and I knew in an instant that I had lost it. I snapped when I saw that high of a number. I have never done that before so it kind of freaked me out that I would go overboard like that.

My guess is that the culmination of things gone wrong really got to me but I wonder also if the high blood sugar also brought out the sudden rage.

Have you ever had this kind of reaction to a high? It kind of scares me because I have never done anything like that before.