~Molz~

Why is it that I can remain much calmer than those around me when it comes to diabetes? I can manage a low with ease, while my mom or my friend will freak out on me. No matter the severity, the past, or the person, it just seems I can keep composure better than them.

Last night, my mom and I went out for our usual walk. I had worked out earlier in the day, so I knew my blood sugar would probably be an issue. I cut my insulin back and drank a juice half way through the walk. Not long after, I felt the low coming on full force. It was bad, I knew that. Inside my own mind, I was thinking that I just needed to make it around the next part of the walk so we would be closer to the house.

My mind got the better of me and I finally told my mom that I needed juice. My legs were wobbling at that point. My mind was completely blank. All I could think was that I was low, I needed juice, and I needed to get home.

I was keeping my calm though, just trying to make it around the block. I didn't want my mom to freak out. I just wanted to walk slowly home. To the safety of juice and food. To the safety of an air-conditioned chair.

She immediately did the exact opposite. She decided to run home (I mean, full on RUN) then drive back to where I was with two juices in hand. She insisted that I sit down on the side walk before she started running (I, of course, didn't do this but kept walking towards our house). Her adrenaline was rushing and her nerves were on edge. I could feel the panic seeping from her.

Despite the way my legs were giving out, my muddled mind, and the sweat pouring from my body, I kept my composure. I insisted to myself that I just needed to get home. I would be fine, if I could just make it closer to home.

I'm sure that often I should be more panicked when it comes to my diabetes. In general, I'm not a panicky type of person, but I do know that life does call for that when you're diabetic. I've managed to narrowly escape some dangerous situations, situations that would not have been nearly as dangerous if I would have panicked. But where do I draw the line? When is it time to panic? When is it time to stay calm?

And why is it that everyone else seems to panic long before I do?