Diabetic Recipes
varohaub
For the past few weeks, my diabetes management has really gone by the wayside. I've been so consumed with my job, my new project, school, and catching up on things that I haven't been able to invest the time that I usually do with my diabetes. And it's giving me a guilty conscious.
Typically, I look at my averages every day and analyze for daily trends I see. I upload at least once a month and analyze all of that data. I count carbs fairly accurately, instead of just plugging in a number that sounds "about right." And I make sure to treat accordingly.
Lately, with everything that's been going on over this summer, I've put every one of those habits to the side. I haven't uploaded since May. My carb counting is atrocious. Sometimes, I even forget to bolus. I have no idea what my average was for yesterday or last week (I can tell you it isn't where I want it to be!).
But life has just gotten in the way. My mind is on overload. I feel flustered, getting to the point of burn out very quickly. I'm scatter-brained, lost in my thoughts, lost in nothingness and fog. So diabetes has been pushed to the back (because I know it will ALWAYS be there, so hey...why deal now when other things need to be dealt with today or this week?)
That doesn't make me feel great. It makes me feel like I'm slowly killing myself. I see how lack of management leaves me with lack of control. I feel my diabetes spinning out into space. The guilt, the anger is getting unbearable.
Do you feel guilty when you don't manage the way you want to? Or do you just realize that we're only human and we can only manage so much at the same time?
I definitely feel guilty about it, but not for long at any one time because I have too many other things vying for attention. OTOH, I'm d&e so it's less vital than for someone on insulin.
I know it can be a real pain, the only way that I know of that has worked for me is a standard system. If I'm at work or school, and testing really hasn't been finding its time in my schedule. I preset a certain amount of rapid acting insulin, (to what I'm eating.) Then up my long lasting by 4 ccs. It usually balnces out. As long as you kind of have a meal arrangement
After reading your post, I was thinking about Diabetes Burnout. I listened to some excellent tapes on the subject but for the life of me I cannot remember the doc's name that wrote the book. We're only human, we forget, we procrastinate and then we can be down right rebels. Hang in there and be good to yourself. Remember to breathe, taking a moment to myself just to breathe. I find that when I just akes a fe moments to be still and stop the constant rush I have better coping skills.
Whenever I feel that I am losing control of what I am supposed to be doing, I need to stop, take a deep breath and start taking one day at a time again. It is very easy to let everything else take priority over self-care (not to be confused with selfishness).
...amen magkar. It is not selfish nor should you feel guilty. Guilt, I believe in this instance,is your minds way of letting you realize that something is out of balance.
I always go for the easiest way in life, and I have found it easier to be in control. When I am not, I am stressed and frustrated. I prefer easy street.... Best wishes in finding Peace.
Keep Going.........Peace, Bob
Thanks for all the ideas/encouragement! For me, I feel guilty because I know that even these small lapses are years in my future. I don't want my busy schedule to get in the way, but sometimes it does. For now, I'm pushing through and trying to spend at least 5 minutes a day just looking at my numbers. If I'm constantly aware of what they are, then I'm more willing to take time for them.