Diabetic Recipes
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I've known him since I was a junior in high school. We met during the years that I wasn't taking care of my diabetes. I don't even remember telling him I was diabetic. I'm sure I did, but I doubt that I made it as detailed of a thought as it should have been.
It took me about two years after I met him to finally get my diabetes act together. By that time, he had moved out of state for college. We barely saw each other, so he never experienced what my diabetes was really like. He didn't experience the terrifying lows or the frustrating highs because he just wasn't around enough to see.
When he was around, I tried to hide my diabetes as much as possible. I never told him I was low. I would just grab the nearest coke. I didn't explain my insulin pump. It was just there, as a weird reminder that something was behind the shadows. One day, he asked me what it was and all I said was "insulin pump" and moved on. I knew he didn't understand what that meant from his response, "Oh, that's not good" but I let it be.
His dad was diagnosed with type 2 shortly after my dad was diagnosed with type 1. We were on similar platforms, but diabetes still wasn't involved in our entertwined lives. It was always a fleeting thought, the general questions, an unspoken bond.
Over the last few weeks, we've started seeing each other more often. More often means more diabetes. I'm having to check my blood sugar when he's around (especially since I'm a fanatic with blood sugar checks recently). My pump vibrates and I can't silence it soon enough. I can't bring myself to approach the diabetes topics (even as simple as telling him I need food because I'm low or explaining the basics of something so important).
He's briefly shown interest in my diabetes world. I tested my blood sugar in front of him for the first time in a long time (have I ever?) and he asked about it. My pump went off and he didn't seem too weirded out. But I can't seem to overcome the way I feel about it, no matter if he's okay with it all or not. I just can't find a comfort level with diabetes in this relationship.
Lindsey,
You aren't alone. I don't find too much comfort in sharing my diabetes either....even when it rears its head and makes itself known and I'm trying to hide it. I'm even shy about it with my husband of 24 years!! Give it some time and see where he goes with it....likely he doesn't know what to say. I'm amazed at the people who just don't understand T1...or T2 for that matter!
Maybe it's the mother in me but my heart is with you....I just love reading your posts. You are so young and so brave! You give me hope that we can deal with this thing!
Mousie
Hey Lindsey!
I am a 20 year old girl and I know exactly what you are experiencing. I think one of the biggest reasons that I always chicken out of relationships, is for fear of sharing my diabetes with my partner. I am also very secretive with my diabetes-I always check by myself and never give myself a shot infront of anyone. But I am now trying every day to be more open about this disease. It just makes it a lot easier and you usually get surprised by people's reactions-its not such a big deal to them as you always imagine it would be. I have never shared the fact that I am diabetic with any of the guys that I have dated. But I have made a promise to myself that the next guy I date would be just as involved with my diabetes as my mother-I know that sounds weird, but this is the kind of guy that we deserve-if a guy really cares about you, he would want you to be healthy, and would want to help keep you in good shape. Living with diabetes is hard enough.Having to hide it, because you are scared of people's reactions makes it ten times harder! We dont need harder! I am trying everyday to be more open about my disease, but I have had it since I was five, and have always been secretive about it, so it is really hard, but I just feel that it is the right thing to do! Living with diabetes is a challenge-and we dont have to face it alone!