Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year but for so many it is not. The holidays tend to be a time that people reflect on the past year and sometimes that can be a real downer.

This Christmas will not be so “Holly Jolly” for me.

My health was pretty good as far as my diabetes goes. I had no major incidents like DKA or hospitalization of any kind so that front has been pretty good. In fact, I may have some really good news to share soon but I will wait for the official word on that.

The work place, although slow lately, has been good and I am thankful that I have a place to work regardless of how boring it can be sometimes.

My blue Christmas comes in the form of spending the holidays in someone else’s house. I know I told you all that I was extremely thankful for the home we found to rent but losing our home this year has been tough and I do not expect it to get easier any time soon.

Our house had great rain gutters all around for hanging our lights, and we had a great spot for our tree. We would even have a fire Christmas morning and bring Teddy our dog in to spend the day with us.

No dice.

I keep trying to forget about all of this and just enjoy the holidays with my family and friends but I cannot do it.

The feeling of failure is stifling and the fact that owning a home again is probably not going to happen makes the sting burn even deeper.

And when you are depressed you think about all the other things that will make you more depressed. Having diabetes, missing my father who passed several years ago, being over weight, being broke and so many other things.

I hate to be such a downer but maybe those of you that are not skipping around singing Christmas songs may understand.

You are not alone.