2 weeks ago
I could hear the laughter from the comedy club in the distance, echoing through the basement corridors. The comedian’s muffled words reverberated from his microphone and the crowd roared in response. I could hear the dampened jokes as if they were being delivered from the other end of a tunnel, but for the life of me, I couldn’t find the comedy club. I felt like I was walking around in circles for hours and I hadn’t seen a soul.
Finally, an elevator opened up. I attempted to step in but people were packed in like sardines. There was no room for me.
Odd dream.
When I awoke, it was 3:20 am. An hour and twenty minutes later than I meant to wake up to check Charlie, who was having a rough night. A rough few nights. I prayed the correction brought him down. I wondered if the dream had anything to do with my frustration with his high blood sugars.
He was 321.
Doctors and nurse practitioners will say not to worry too much about a random night of highs. But when I return from checking Charlie’s blood sugar and I try to fall back to sleep, I can’t. I can’t because his high blood sugars make my heart race. In the quiet of night, it’s all I can think about. My heart feels like it will jump out of my chest.
"You’ll correct him and he’ll be fine," they say. But it feels like my son is inside a room with the door locked, getting beaten up by a thug. I’m on the outside and I can do nothing. Just wait with heartache until it’s over. Maybe it sounds overly dramatic. That’s just the way it feels sometimes.
The highs just suck!
If only Halle Berry were here.
She’d know what to do.
HA - Halle Berry always knows the right thing to do. She did cure her Type 1 after all...anyways. Moving on. You're not being dramatic, I have no idea what it feels like to be a parent of a child with diabetes, because I was always the kid, but please know how lucky Charlie is to have a father and mother like you two to care for him. I didn't have that growing up, and I suffered for it with years of poor control. So although this is not the last of the rough nights, Charlie will be ok, and there will be many, many good ones too.
I fell the same way about my son.. if he is high in the middle of the night.. i can not fall back to sleep very easily. I wonder what the "high" is doing to the inside of his little body.. I just pray we are doing right by our children and they will live long lives.. I pray!
Halle Berry is in denial, so credit here is undeserved. However, your son is fortunate to have caring parents and if he has to have diabetes, it is in the age when medical science has some answers and technology to deal with it much easier. I have had diabetes since 1965. I drove blind for 18 years before glucose monitors became available. I know it's hard. I also have a daughter (now 26) who has diabetes. It is the heartbreak of my life, but we have weathered alot of storms and have survived. Keep up the good work and know that your loving concern will pay off. Good luck, God Bless!!
Aggghhh. I so get what you're saying. I hate it, just hate it that your Charlie and my Riley have to go through this &!#@. Yeah, the highs come down, but what damage did they do while they were there? That's what always gets to me.
Carey, I feel like this (I think) when my kids are sick and they don't have diabetes. I'm glad Charlie has you as a dad and I'm sorry for the heartache is causes you.