It's 10:30 p.m. on a Wednesday night. I'm not ready to go to bed, yet I know I need to. I'm not tired; I know that if I "go to bed" I'll lie there awake, which will only piss me off.
I've been sitting at the computer for an hour trying to figure out how to make a Flash slideshow presentation for my web site. It's a lot more complicated than I thought it would be. There's HTML involved. That's almost as bad as making me do math.
And... am I shaking? Yes. But the energy involved in walking to the next room to grab my meter to test is not appetizing right now. Because I know if I walk into my dark bedroom to test my sugar I'll be lulled into bed and as I mentioned before... I'm not ready to go to bed yet.
I want to finish this project I started today. Damnit why can't I just figure out how to make a stinkin' slideshow?!? I'm like that with things. When I was much younger and still had a stereo with a tape deck I wouldn't allow myself to fast forward to the end of a tape. Yes, I'd "force" myself to listen to all the songs before flipping that bad boy over.
I know. I'm weird. You'd never know I had that in my past based on how often I flip through songs on my iPod. ANYWAY.
You see that rambling above? That's the lowish state that I'm in. That denial. That STUPID DIABETES attitude I have right now.
So, like I was saying, I don't want to go to bed. I've always been a night owl, but after you have kids who get up at the ass crack of dawn you learn to go to bed fairly early. Oh, and having a job sort of requires getting up at a decent hour. When I was in college -- and was more or less an anti-social loser -- I'd stay up until 5 a.m. doing cross stitch (Hmmm... maybe I shouldn't put that out there.) and then sleep until noon and I was perfectly happy doing it. Never been a morning person. Which is one reason I usually start my day with a Diet Coke.
OK, so I guess I better check my sugar. Ugh. And I suspect that a snack will follow. By the time I'm done doing all the stuff I do before I actually get in to bed it will be close to 11 p.m., which is waaaaaay past my bedtime.
But Moooo-om! I'm not even tired!
OK this post just entered a new dimension of weird. Maybe I should write while lowish more often.
Michelle, I don't like to go to bed "early" either, but somehow when I do I get a lot more done the next day. Seems like staying up and doing projects is more productive but for some reason's not~ I often have to "stay up" to make sure my BGs don't get too low before going to bed and the weight I'm putting on isn't encouraging because of the lows at night. "This too will pass" I know because I don't go through the three-types-of-tired I used to go through in my 30's (thirty years ago). Hang in there girl friend. Rest for the morning's not far away.
Hi Michelle,How are the Summer 24/7s happening for you? Here, we've had Camp Gramma in almost a month of sunshine every day. Today, however, it is overcast but it is light and the temperature is comfortable, even had my breakfast on the deck again this morning:)
This afternoon my husband and my self will be helping our daughter pull out her refrig.