I have maggots in my shoes. Invisible maggots in my shoes and they never EVER go away.

Some days they are more active then others and the weirdest thing is that they hang out even when I don't have shoes on! Occasionally I think there is one with a lighter who like to burn me at different times throughout the day and night. Even if I am sleeping they will mess with me.

So what do I do? I have tried medicine to make them sleep but that seems to make me want to sleep all the time too. I have stomped so hard, hoping I would crush every one of them to no avail. And at the expense of looking like a psycho as I do it. Nothing seems to work.

My doctor says that I should keep my glucose levels normal which I only think can happen when a cure is found. Why do doctors say that? Anyhow, I am very good about keeping my blood down to a hint of sweetness and I will admit, the maggot with the lighter does not come around as often.

But still it is terrible. Whenever I think about it seriously it upsets me. Hence the maggot story. I feel my body reacting to the disease and I feel as though I have no control over it. I remember my doctor saying that neuropathy, "is just something that happens to people with diabetes." How else am I supposed to make sense of that?

I cannot make sense of it. Why is there not a surgery or a procedure that will take away all the tingling and movement I feel. I just get so angry. I am constantly uncomfortable and fearful that I will lose my feet someday.

And there it is. My biggest fear. Maybe because I see that the disease has already targeted my feet? I am not sure. What I do know is that I am not giving up without a fight.

I just hope I win.


George 1 - Maggots 0