Acupuncture

I went to a health and benefits fair at work recently and talked to an acupuncturist. Our conversation went a little like this:

Him: I do have some patients with diabetes and I can tell you, we’ve seen some improvement from a combination of herbal therapy and acupuncture.

Me: Type 1?

Him: Yes, type 1.

Me: Type 1?

Him: Type 1.

Me: TYPE 1?

Him: YES, TYPE 1!

To his credit, he did have a clear knowledge of the different types of diabetes and he spoke of beta cells, theorizing that maybe they weren’t dead but rather asleep.

Imagine proposing acupuncture to Charlie.

"Hey Charlie, since you’ve shown that you can handle needles so well, how about we insert about 50 of ‘em into your body all at the same time? Cool?"

Mr. Giraffe

I came downstairs and found Mr. Giraffe in this condition. Charlie informed me that Mr. Giraffe has diabetes and is on a regimen of shots. He may go on the pump down the road. I don’t mean to sound callous, but the last thing I need right now is another copay.

Come On, Medical Journalists

Come on, medical journalists. If you learn that grapes are allegedly beneficial to the treatment of diabetes, don’t get cute with your headlines. It lessens the legitimacy of what you’re reporting. Just don’t go there. You’re better than that. I saw this one recently:

"Substance in Grapes May Squeeze Out Diabetes"

What if cars showed efficacy in treating diabetes? Would we say …

"Cars Put Brakes on Diabetes"

What if camel spit showed promise?

"Diabetes Researchers Over the Hump in Camel Study"

Please. Resist the temptation.