I spent the better part of this week looking at apartment complexes, meeting with a potential graduate program, and learning more about the city that I'm moving to. I also went on a job interview and got lost a lot. My blood sugars stayed pretty decent throughout the stress and chaos, except for one bad high after a chocolate shake and a nasty low after Mexican food.
Each time I take a trip to where I'm moving, I get more and more excited. This time I really got to see where I might be living, envisioning myself driving those roads and shopping at the grocery stores. I'm still freaking out inside, wondering if this is the right decision for me. But despite the fear, I still know that I'm doing what's best for me right now and that I'm keeping my health as my priority.
My plans seem to keep changing as far as jobs or graduate schools. I just can't decide what works for me, where I want to be, or who I want to be working for. It's a tough job market out there too, which is making my decision even more difficult since no direct job offers have come in yet. The salary options are tough too. My budget is minimal, but the potential salaries are lower than what even I've decided to live on.
After my job interview on Wednesday, I really started thinking about where I want to be in the next few years. I just don't see myself in any of these jobs that I'm applying for. The jobs that I want are the ones that I'm not qualified for. I want the counselor positions, the social worker, psychiatrist, and therapy positions that not only pay better but fit my personality. I don't want to be working under someone for the rest of my life. I want to make a difference with my career.
So I've spent the last two days really looking at the graduate programs in the area. I've looked at financial aid, deadlines, curriculums, how long I'd have to be in school, and all the minute details of going to graduate school. I do not want to be in school any more, but I also want to be able to have the career that I want sooner rather than later. After looking at the financial aid, my budget, and the length of the program (about 2 or 3 years), I think I'm going to apply.
It's only one program that I'm pursuing right now because it is absolutely the one program that I want. It's a master's program in social work. I'll concentrate in mental health so that I can pursue a counseling career after I receive my master's. I'll also have to work while attending school full time, hopefully making enough to pay all but my tuition and rent.
This is all if I get into the program or if a great job opportunity doesn't come along before the application deadline. But I'm pretty sure that I want to pursue this no matter what. I'm pretty sure that counseling is my dream job. It's the one thing that I seem to always come back to (other than writing) and the one thing that I can truly see myself doing on a daily basis and never burning out. It isn't something that I want to do forever...that's where writing comes in. But it's certainly something that I'll choose as my career for the next twenty years.
I've been praying that the right opportunity comes along. And I've gotten some job prospects, although no official offers, and yet none have settled on my heart. Nothing has made sense to me. There has been a block with each one. But graduate school and pursuing this dream sits in my heart as if it's always meant to. I know that it will be incredibly difficult and costly. And I'm hoping that if this is the right choice that everything falls into place, including the financial aid that I'll be applying for.
I'm also hoping that I don't change my mind again out of fear. I hope that I can stand strong and finally realize that this is it. I can't keep putting off my life forever. I have to jump at some point. Whether it's scary or not.
Hi Lindsey,
Get help and check out all the financial options. Ask, Ask, Ask, for help. You can do it. As always have a great day.
Dan
Hi Lindsey!
It's great you've found a good area to live in!
Counseling/social work sounds like a really good fit for you, and possibly something you could combine with your interest in different cultures to make a really unique career for yourself. I hope the program includes some fieldwork/internship opportunity so you can get a good idea of what the possibilities are.
I hope you've had a chance to read some more of Barbara Sher's book to see ways you might fit all your interests into such a career.
Best of luck with your applications and financial aid!
Deb
Thanks, Deb! I haven't read much of Barbara Sher's book but I will do that this week! The program does include internships and I've also been looking at the job boards for positions with that degree...it looks pretty decent for now.
I would be worried about virablizing my doubts about interviews what is they goggle you and see that you have doubts about interviews you are doing and mark you off the list.
Most employers are using the internet to qualify prospects and I will be that some have already goggled you and made judgements based on your internet life
Yes, you're very right that lots of employers are googling their potential employees and hiring based on what they find. For me, it's a risk that I'm willing to take since I am not planning to accept the jobs I have interviewed for. Thanks for the concern though!
Hey Lindsey,
You know, I think that everyone especially who has just completed any type of schooling can relate to your situation. You have performed a truly great achievement by getting an education.
May I put in my own two cents' worth? I think that continuing education for a higher degree is a very admirable goal. But in the meantime, where jobs are concerned, I myself would never mislead you into thinking that your "first job out of college" would ever be one that you would like, unless you are super lucky! I don't know anyone who has graduated and is still in the same "first job" they were once in. For me and everyone else I know, that first job was just a stepping stone to the next one.
From May to September 1993 I sent out over 230 resumes nationwide. They all wrote back saying they would just "keep my resume on file for six months". It was then I knew that I didn't have much of a choice, if someone were to offer me a job, I had better take it because I really was the low man on the totem pole and couldn't be choosy. Even with a piece of paper stating I had a Bachelor's Degree, I had to start out, well, at the beginning. At the bottom.
I was in a "catch 22" -- all jobs wanted someone with at least two years' experience, but how in the world could I have two years of experience without a job in the first place? I took what I could get, so long as it was related to my education. And I would have stayed at that first job, if it weren't for the fact that five years at my first job made me look like a "stable" employee to other higher paying companies. See, the money and the option to choose just didn't come first for me. I don't think it comes first for anyone.
Five years later (1998), that's when I could "begin" being choosy -- and it's also when the number of "keep your resume on file" responses dwindled down to only those companies that actually weren't hiring at that time.
Fourteen years later, I was able to apply as an adjunct instructor at Oklahoma State Univerity, the Oklahoma City branch. That is, on the side of my day job. I taught fundamental courses in my career field Fall 2007 and Spring 2008.
In 2008, after eight years at my second career job, I only had trouble finding work because I had "too much experience" that in this economy many companies didn't want to pay for. But the one that hired me in 2008, I practically named my (very fair!) price, and I haven't let them down.
My point is, you won't get what you want at first in the job market, and when you get your first job, you will probably be stuck doing things no one else at that job wants to do. Sounds awful, but it is what you make it, and in my past it was just a stepping stone to live on. It was only for a while, but if I wanted to earn money, I just did what I had to do -- and eventually, better things unfolded for me throughout the years.
Lindsey, you've read my replies for a while, so you know I am not a fuddy-duddy. But if what I write makes sense and works for you or others, then good for all-y'all (that means "all of you all, for people in northern states! ). Don't get caught as a member of the so-called "Me Generation" only to end up disappointed and depressed -- knowledge really is power, and "real" changes always take their own sweet time.
Oh and by the way, just in case it is new and interesting information to anyone, I would never recommend mentioning your diabetes in a job interview -- it is irrelevant to people who don't know you and haven't even hired you yet. The only exceptions are those jobs that state up front that people who have diabetes (or other specific illnesses) are not eligible for employment (like Air Traffic Control, for instance, since blood-sugar levels affect alertness and judgement, and we can't have airplanes colliding on the runway -- stupid, I know, but that's the way it is). Even after you are hired, you are under no obligation to mention your diabetes to anyone, ever. While this may be a bit impractical for people who have diabetes, it is still true. I mention my diabetes because I choose to do so, but the choice is mine to make.
My goodness, what happened to the font in the middle of my reply??? I didn't do it!!!