vancity197 @stock.xchng

I feel like such a mean dad.

I am the father of two very awesome kids. My son is 14 and my daughter is 10. They are both very smart and well mannered kids. My wife and I are extremely blessed in that they are both good kids. We thank God all the time for them.

I am usually considered the "cool dad" with my kid and their friends and as much as I am "cool" I am also pretty strict. I have definite rules with my kids and as long as they do not break them then they have lots of freedoms. Break a rule and freedoms are gone.

We have definitely taught them the whole "consequences" thing. We stick to our guns on punishments and such so they know we do not mess around.

All that is fine but the problem I am having is different. It is about my daughter.

She, like me, loves to eat. She has noticed recently that clothes are not fitting her and she has major difficulties shopping for stuff her size.

I see her frustration and I cannot help but remember back to what I used to go through when I was her age. I was always overweight and much much more overweight then she is which is why I want to help her before she gets to the point I was.

She tries things on and ends up throwing it aside. Grabs something else and cannot button it or zip it. She starts crying. I hear her and my wife talking about trying something else. My wife tries to calm her down. She cries harder. I remember crying those tears as a kid. I feel them coming on again for her. I can't stand it.

We do not buy junk food but if we get any sort of snack like item it gets eaten. If we are at a birthday party or an event like a wedding, she will eat everything she can get her hands on.

I talked to her about her weight and how I had my own issues when I was a kid so I know that sometimes we act like it doesn't bother us but it does. She agreed that she felt bad and wanted to make a change.

"What can I do to help you sweetheart? Mom and I are not buying junk food so we will continue to keep good things like veggies and fruit to snack on but what can I do to help?"

She says, "Maybe you can tell me when you think I have had too much or if I am serving myself seconds or something."

"I can do that but I need you to be willing to stop if I mention it to you. I don't want you to get mad at me but if you want me to say something then I will. Are you sure?"

She nodded and hugged me.

Fast forward to the wedding we attended this last weekend. Every time the appetiser tray came by she grabbed anything she could get her hands on.

"Honey, food is coming. I think you have had enough for now."

She looked at me. I could see it. I remember feeling like she did. Knowing you were eating just because it was there and it tasted good. Remembering back to promising yourself you would be good and trying frantically to find out a way to justify this. Feeling like a failure. Feeling like your will never be able to change.

Feeling fat.

Before she started crying I told her, "honey, I do not want to be the mean dad but I have to be because I love you."

She nodded as she hugged me.

I still feel horrible.