Diabetic Recipes
Logging. It is something every diabetic should do. It is important in terms of identifying patterns and making decisions about dosing - and it is vital to figuring out when you need to be paying more attention and where your problem areas are in the course of a day. I remember the bad old days of handwritten logbooks. They were cumbersome and not at all useful, even when they were kept up and brought to the doctor. Technology has come a long way and there are many great tools available for logging everything we need to be tracking. But, for me at least, logging is still an excruciating task.
It isn't the actual entry that makes logging so difficult. It is the black and white of it. The numbers that won't be ignored once they're plugged into a program. It is all of that data that only seems pattern-like every so often, all of those nonsensical dips and swings. It is seeing, in physical form, the difference just a miniscule amount of insulin or an hour of exercise can make. I almost feel that by logging, I am giving the numbers power. And by logging, I am presenting myself with yet another measure that my self-critical brain uses to judge my success at life.
I write the numbers down. I swallow hard, get misty, and feel guilty when I have to log a number above 200 mg/dl - even if the number makes no sense and the elevation isn't directly related to something I've done. I rejoice secretly - or openly - when entering numbers in the 70-150 mg/dl range. And, when I'm lower than 70 mg/dl, I treat and then enter the number, aggravated that it's yet another out of range - but relieved that it won't push my average up any further. If I have a day that's totally out of range, or one that holds a whole lot of highs or lows, it takes every ounce of my will to get on the computer and download my meter or type in those results.
Now - I know that the numbers would be the numbers, even if I didn't record them. I know that I'd feel some level of guilt or joy whether I was writing them down or not. But, seeing them in lines and giving them a physical space in the landscape of my life - outside of the meter where they reside - seems to make them more emotionally impactful. And giving them that kind of influence goes against my very nature.
Sometimes, letting another set of eyes into the world of those numbers helps. Whether it's a doctor, the CDE, or a friend with an understanding of diabetes, another person's perspective often sheds light on things I wouldn't have seen if left to my own devices. More importantly, if someone else can look at them and not find me weak or bad or stupid - if someone else can look and assure me that there are times when the numbers just don't make sense or that a high bloodsugar that I couldn't prevent isn't a reason to beat myself up - I feel more confident in feeling that way myself. If another person can look and tell me I'm doing the best I can, I am more inclined to believe that I am, in fact, doing the best I can. Of course, sometimes, showing my numbers to another just makes me even more embarassed by the times I've faltered, more overjoyed by the times I've had success. I know it may seem silly, but the presence of another set of eyes, another brain on the scene, eases some of the anxiety I have about logging.
What about you?
Do you log?
Does it stress you out?
How do you ease tension around logging?
How do you make the process, the actual physical writing or typing of results, easier?
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July 6th, 2008
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Nicole has lived successfully with type 1 diabetes for 25 years. She hopes that by writing about her experiences, she can help others to face diabetes - and its challenges - head on.(Read More)
Latest Posts: Baby Steps... | Off the Tracks... And 26 years.... | Disappointing Body, I Still Love You So...
Rob Rummel-Hudson is a writer and Type 2 diabetic living in the Dallas area. His book, Schuyler's Monster, will be published by St. Martin's Press in 2008. He can also be found at Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords.(Read More)
Latest Posts: Cold turkey is for the birds | Missing the Gobbler | Staring into the Abyss with a Party Hat on my Head
Our Other Bloggers: Carey Potash, Lindsey Guerin, George Simmons, Julia, Andy Bell, Michelle Kowalski, Kim Doty, Kerri Morrone, Rebecca Abma, Scott Marvel
I go thru spurts where I will log and then not so much.
The tough part is being on the Weight Watchers makes for a whole lot of logging and I cannot handle having to write an essay everytime I eat!
After I am slender I will start logging all the time. For now, I will download my meter reading and go from there.
We log Brendon's numbers as much as possible. I kick myself when I see numbers in the 300's and get a wave of guilt especially if it was as a result of a forgotten dose, or miscalculation of carbs or waiting too long between testing.
Seeing numbers like that though keeps me on my toes and makes me more determined to do better the next time. I know I'll never be perfect, but I strive for it nonetheless and I feel Brendon is better for it.
Nicole, if it weren't for being able to hook my meter up to my computer, I'd be a total mess. Logging has always been my biggest hurdle.
I can log pretty well if I eat the same thing every day, and my numbers look good. I stop loggin as soon as my numbers look bad, even if it is just my cycle that affects them and I could solve it with a little logging. I just hate writing numbers that stay in the 200's for more then an hour or 2. I need to get a computer cord for my pump/glucometer very soon, it would help a ton.
George - Even downloading my numbers can cause emotional tumult for me... I think I really might be a little sensitive... :o
Shannon - I'd like to JUST be in the same ballpark as perfect at least a few times a month... It's something to strive for... :P
Kerri - Logging is such a huge challenge. I loved in your post how you wrote about you and your mom with the multiple pens. I've definitely been there - with my mom!
Kimmerdawn - Thanks for you comment. I am right there with you on the 200 pluses... It's the reason I wrote this post. I appreciate your reminding me I'm not the only one. That's the best part of the diabetes community, that sense of comraderie.
Logging? What is this logging you speak of?
Just kidding. I plug my numbers into Kevin's spreadsheet. And you are very right, it does add another level of emotion to the bag.
I sometimes LIKE to log so that I can look at that out of range number, look at the notes, and say "SEE! I TOLD you it was not my fault!". Those times where I did everything "right" and still got smacked with some high or low...
Oh I am so relieved the see that others have log-o-phobia as I do. I find logging difficult because of all the unpredictability of being "in control". I hate the feeling of failure when the highs come in especially. But, I don't eat the same thing each day at the same time exactly or do the exact amount of physical activity each day or check pre and post every single time...I just don't. If the log book is there so see patterns and react to those patterns...well, there were no paterns so, I found that the log book was useless. My endo didn't agree...heh, heh. But right now I am slim on logging. I will get back to it soon, I'm sure. It goes in waves.
Nice to find this blog and all of you...me, Type 1 choreogrpaher living in NYC
cheers,
Dawn
Scott - You made me aLOL. Logging? What is this logging? I wish I could get past the guilt and get to the "It's not my fault part... "
Dawn - Thanks for checking out blogabetes. Hope you'll come back again - it's a great resource. I like that term "log-a-phobia!" Even though my days differ drastically sometimes, I do find that logging helps me to identify patterns - along with what my insulin pump tells me - and what basal rate I'm using (I've got different basal settings for different days and different activities/activity levels)... Now if I could just get to being consistent about 1) logging and 2) using all those varying settings - things would be MUCH smoother, I'm sure (sort of... if you know what I mean - LOL) And I also know the waves. Again - thanks for checking us out - hope we'll see you around here more often!