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One of the most frustrating aspects of diabetes management is the fact that diabetes has a mind of its own. At any given moment, your body can do the strangest things that you have no control over. Stress, hormones or the weather can have a huge impact on blood sugars and insulin levels. And it's the worst when it's completely unexpected.

Every so often I have weeks where I run higher than normal. I've never found a correlation to one specific trigger, but usually I notice it's when multiple triggers seem to go off at the same time. Whether it be a combination of increased stress and decreased sleep or change in hormones and a change in exercise or maybe even all four, I run high for a few days.

During these few days, I've noticed that I become "insulin resistant." I say that (not that I've been diagnosed) because I've self diagnosed myself with those words. During these times, I run high and give normal boluses for the high but don't drop very much (if at all). My body just doesn't use the insulin in the right way. My body wants to resist the insulin, whether that's medically proven or not.

I get so irritated during these weeks because it makes me feel pretty bad and I know it's deadly in the long run. I'm in a haze the entire time. I have a general sick feeling. I'm constantly stressing about ketones and watching for signs of DKA. The reality of each high tearing its way through my body is constantly there. Not to mention, it completely messes up my A1c.

Weeks like this make me wonder if I shouldn't be doing more to control this disease. Maybe I should try taking more than just insulin and take an oral medicine or something like Symlin. Maybe I should make sure to work out regularly even when it really doesn't fit my schedule. Maybe I need to take more precautions to avoid stress.

I realize that my control is good. I regularly work hard to manage my diabetes. I simply cannot control some things about life and diabetes management. I would love if I could put my body on "auto-pilot" to always do the same thing no matter what outside (or inside) factors exist. If only my hormones would stay constant, my friends wouldn't stress me out and my schedule would stay open enough for exercise...I would never kick myself wondering what I did to cause these unexplained highs.