It's my time...to plan phase 2 of my healthcare team.

I'm a girl. A 21-year-old girl. A girl who has spent the last year listening to friend's talk about engagements, attending weddings of high school pals, and buying baby shower gifts for my already-coupled friends. Sometimes it feels like everywhere I turn, someone else is getting engaged or married or growing their family.

All that means that my mind is constantly confronted with the fact that potential coupledom and familyhood is in my future. That means I spend a lot of time thinking about this future, with these couples and families of my imagination. My mind trails in daydreams to consider the kind of guy I want to marry, getting pregnant, and growing old together.

A lot of these daydreams consider my future health with this future partner. From the complications of pregnancy to just the daily monotony of my conditions, it all rises in my imagination. The possibilities that confront me and this future spouse. A lot of these daydreams are based on what I've experienced in the past and what my diabetic/health conscious friends experience in their present.

Ultimately, I want a partner who is also a partner with me in my diabetes and my other issues. I want the kind of lover who stands and sits by me through the ups and downs of these conditions. I want someone who learns to understand, to know, and to believe in the same way that I do with my health. I want a spouse that integrates into my healthcare team and manages alongside me.

There are generalities and specifics of these wants. I want someone who takes the time to know diabetes, endometriosis, and PCOS in a broad way. I want someone to understand what a basal, a bolus, and an A1c are. I want someone to know how and when to use a glucagon. I want someone who can insert an infusion set or a sensor if need be. I want someone who will check my blood sugar in the middle of the night if I can't or won't. I want someone to recognize a low. I want someone to go to doctor's appointments with me and pay attention. I want someone to stay up with me when I've had a low or be patient when I can't eat because of a high. I want someone who will work out with me, knowing that keeps my health and my body in check.

There are so many things that I daydream of when it comes to my future partner in this disease. It isn't just about love and life for me. It's more than fairy tale weddings, first homes, and joint checking accounts. It's bigger than the shared jokes, the knowledge of a smile, or the ability to finish each other's sentences.

It's the fairy tale doctor's appointment that gives a good A1c. It's the first bad low together. It's the joint fear of the future. This partnership is the shared knowledge of how scary a seizure is and the ability to read a blood sugar and its symptoms correctly. All these minor things that add up to massive moments of my life, all these tiny details that become the backbone of how I live...it's all in my future with anyone.

I've dated some pretty amazing guys. Guys who researched diabetes in depth, guys who learned the difference between a basal and bolus and what a good A1c meant. Some guys who celebrated the good numbers with me and hurt on the bad ones. Guys who listened when a doctor's appointment was a little tough or when I hated the pump. Even guys who spotted lows like this one. That same guy learned how the meter manages to read a blood sugar level from a drop of blood....granted he's OCD analytical.

It's the prospect of one amazing guy in my future that thrills me. The prospect that I might find a guy who can and will do all these things with me, while still living side by side in the real world. The potential for another member of this healthcare team that I've been building over the past years. I simply can't wait to share every aspect of this life, from the blood sugars to the love for movies to the longing for adventure.