Charlie turns 7 tomorrow. Can you believe it? 7!

"So where do you want to go out to eat for your birthday?" I asked him last night.

"Surprise me," he answered.

"But make sure it's a place where all the waiters sing Happy Birthday to me," he added.

It's funny that he wants that. That sort of public revelry would be hell on Earth for Susanne or me if we were the intended target.

He looked puzzled.

"But how will they know it's my birthday? Do all of the restaurants have a big list of all the kids' birthdays?"

"No," I said. "The restaurants don't have Santa-type power. Mom or dad will tell the waiter or waitress that it's your birthday."

"OK," Charlie said. "But do it when I'm not looking."

We will likely go somewhere casual like an Applebee's or Red Robin. I would like to be excited about taking the boy out for his birthday but honestly, my first thought turns to the food and the problems it will pose. I mean, seriously, it's such a big menu. What will I choose? Such a dilemma.

Sorry, will be serious now. The food and how it will assault Charlie's body is absolutely on our minds and certainly takes away from some of the fun. Our last visit to Applebee's wasn't pretty. Wasn't pretty at all.

Charlie will typically order a cheeseburger with fries. When the waitress drops the plate before him, our hands dive immediately into his mountain of fries, pillaging his dinner and leaving about a quarter of the greasy nightmarish morsels left.

I imagine the waitress walks away after seeing Charlie's what-the-hell-just-happened look on his face, and shakes her head at the crazy parents who won't give the birthday boy a decent helping of french fries.

We (and by we I mean Susanne) estimate how many carbs are in the hamburger roll, the ketchup and the measly few fries, punch it up on the pump and hope for the best.

It would be nice, however, if we knew exactly how many carbs he was eating. We don't do the scale thing but we plan to buy one soon. Hang on a sec. Just had a thought.

[Dialing Applebee's in Kansas]

"Oh you don't? Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh, that's too bad. OK, thanks."

Sorry, that was just Applebee's guest services on the phone. How is it that in 2009, the "largest casual dining chain in the world" (their words) does not have nutritional information for its menu? That's incredible.

I was told that unfortunately they don't have nutritional information but it's something they're working on.

Ugh!

Oh crud! Forgot about the birthday cake! Birthday cakes are so overrated, aren't they? Can't we just skip the birthday cake?

I say bring out the birthday beans!

Update:

After I wrote this, I emailed Red Robin to find out about their nutritional information. I was directed to their website where they have something called a customizer. This customizer allows you select any meal or mix and match with side dishes with an option to click on a "nutrition" button. As you add more to your order, it will even do the math, for instance giving me the total number of carbs. So, according to the customizer, Charlie's Rad Robin Burger with fries would be 52 carbs (not including the ketchup).

Cool stuff, Red Robin! You've earned my business. Can your customizer also come over and check my son's blood sugar at 2 am?