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December 2nd, 2008
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Boo was 208 this afternoon, four hours after having eaten anything. This really, really sucks. It's really starting to worry me. I brushed it off as maybe a urinary tract infection, but now, I'm starting to doubt it. Everything is pointing towards diabetes, and if her pediatrician won't see that, I will find another pediatrician.


I feel overwhelmed at times by this. Part of me knows that I can handle it but the other part of me wants to just cry at the thought of another child with diabetes. I get upset when I hear about any kid getting diagnosed, but now that the likelihood is that it will be my kid. My little Boo, who cries when I poke her, whose little hands I have to pry open in order to stick them with the lancet. Jesus, do you know what that does to me? I want to cry right next to her, but I don't. I can't. I'm afraid that if I start, I'll never stop.


Mostly, though, there's guilt. Guilt that it's probably me, probably something in my genes that did this, that is causing this to happen again. Because I don't have enough things to feel guilty about already, now I have to feel guilty about this.



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Julia - Man, I wish I could do something, anything to help. But I know I really can't.

I know about the guilt know. I live in fear that I'll pass on to my niece or nephews whatever "bad genes" I got that made me the first in my family with a type 1 diagnois. :s When my sister-in-law calls and reports that one of my nephews has been drinking a lot, or peeing a lot, or has whatever other symptom that could have a reasonable explanation or could be diabetes, I hold my breath - and feel sick...

I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do - please let me know.

N


yeah diabetes sucks it does. no other way to put it but if she does have diabetes, she'll be a stronger person, i know i am. it's not your fault, you didn't do this to her, but this isn't about you. it's about her. it gets easier but it's always hard. but remember it's not a fight - in battle someone always loses and it won't be diabetes because diabetes isn't going anywhere anytime soon. learn to live with it and care for her the best you can and teach her to care for herself the best she can as soon as she's old enough. send her to diabetes camps, talk to other parents. life goes on.
my mom found childrenwithdiabetes helpful, check them out.
http://pancreaticallychallenged.blogspot.com


Oh, Julia, I'm sorry.

As a parent I can almost feel your pain through your post. You know too much about this disease not to be scared.

I'm thinking about you guys.

Penny


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Julia
Julia lives behind the Tofu Curtain, in the Pioneer Valley, in Western Massachusetts. It's a nice place. She likes it there. Her eldest daughter, Olivia, has type 1 diabetes. She's also 13. It's a real toss-up as to which is more difficult -- the diabetes or the teen-age drama. (Read More)

Latest Posts: Random Stuff | Insurance-less | Freakin' Health Insurance

Rebecca Abma
What happens when a health writer develops a chronic illness? As Rebecca K. Abma can tell you, it turns into an obsession. Since being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in December 2003, 90 percent of her non-work computer time is spent researching the disease and chatting with fellow diabetics. (Read More)

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