It's my time...to prioritize in my own way.

You may have noticed that diabetes hasn't been my first priority here lately. Not only is school speeding by faster than I can possibly keep up, my other health conditions are facing a lot of changes. Changes that I'm so ready for, but also not prepared for at the moment.

First, I'm starting birth control today after going off the progesterone almost two months ago. I'm hoping that the birth control will help with the premenstrual symptoms that I experience (like cramping, joint pain, headaches, and fatigue), without leaving lasting side effects (like weight gain, stroke, or pulmonary embolism). It took a lot to make the decision to go on it again, but I've made the decision and now I'm excited to see the results.

The second thing that I'm facing this week is my decision to go on Accutane. I've gotten the prescription for it, so now I'm just waiting to fill it after my lab results come back okay. I'm scared to go on it because of its side effects as well. Things like dry skin, chapped lips, headaches, joint pain, nosebleeds...not so fun. But I weighed the benefits...those being fairly quick resolution of my acne and lasting acne resolution...and came out with my end result. So the fear of those side effects is battling against the excitement to finally get my life back again.

Third, I have a laparoscopy scheduled for November 19th to check for endometriosis and hopefully absolve some of those other symptoms (pelvic pain, severe cramping, fatigue, etc). This decision seemed easiest of all, but I'm still stressing over the process and results. Surgery is scary in general, but to be diabetic and undergo surgery is even more terrifying to me. So hopefully everything works out okay.

But on top of all this, I'm trying to make plans in my head to pay attention to my diabetes again. I'm hoping that some of those above issues will fall into place and make diabetes a little easier to manage. Until then, I'm taking my diabetes one day at a time and not stressing over every detail.

I have an endo appointment next Friday, which will probably set me more into the diabetes management mood. Knowing my A1c and talking over different options always starts a fire under me to get on the diabetes bandwagon. One of those options that I'm desperate to try is Symlin. I'm having such issues still with after breakfast highs. On top of that, I'm looking at going back to using the pump for boluses only as that seems to keep me a little more motivated.

Between all these changes, I've decided to set some goals for myself. My first goal: don't stress. My second goal: keep my A1c between 7 and 7.5% until graduation. Third goal: work on getting my A1c under 7% after graduation. I'm sure most of you will say "Why can't you do it now?" And to that, I say "Because I'm too stressed and too busy to even have the energy and motivation."

So I'm letting myself off the diabetes guilt trip to have a healthy, senior year of college. Then I will focus on getting my A1c lower and lower. And doing all the right things. When my life is a little more stable.

Who knows...maybe fixing all my other health conditions will make my diabetes easier to fall into place. We'll see soon enough!