Since I've made the leap to find a new doctor, I figured it's about time that I make a list of what I need/want in my new doctor. I've never seriously thought about it, even though I've been through many doctors. But since I'm a thinking adult, I might as well figure it out.

When I was diagnosed, I don't think I got a choice on who I saw for my diabetes care. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have liked anyone, even if I did get to choose. I was a pretty ticked off little 4 year old. I saw that first doctor, Dr. Sherman (who was amazing, despite my dislike of doctors), up until I was about 10. When she moved away, I stayed within the same system that I was in (it was the best pediatric diabetes care in the state). I had a choice of about five doctors.

I went to every single one of them. I absolutely hated all but one. Most of them seemed to judge me, some even told me how difficult I was. They expected a perfect diabetic child, after all it was SO EASY to be 10 and diabetic! All I had to do was take multiple shots, stay away from sugar, and be a kid.

The one that I settled on, Dr. Haymond, was a total God-send (if you believe in those things). He understood that I was difficult, because I was still reeling from having this stupid disease. He matched my stubborn attitude with an equally stubborn attitude to get me in control. He noticed things that played into my diabetes, like how much my parents were involved. He made me understand that this was MY diabetes. No doctor, no nurse, no parent could make me manage it.

When I was about 16, the system started having patients see a nurse practitioner every other time so I was seeing Dr. Haymond every 6 months. I stopped going to the nurse practitioner because they judged me all over again. So I was only getting diabetes management every 6 months. Pretty soon, I stopped going all together.

By the time I was 18, I was kicked out of the system since I wasn't a "child" anymore. I asked for referrals, but couldn't seem to get anyone to tell me who would be good for me. Since I was having other health issues, I needed an endocrinologist. I also needed a system that allowed me referral-free care from other specialities.

So I went to the system that had managed my general health since I was a kid. I picked a doctor out of their selection who had diabetes management as a sub-speciality (based on education and years working there). He's the current doctor that I'm having so much trouble with. We never clicked. He was always so basic. My first appointment, I left feeling as if I knew more than he did. By the second and third appointments, I knew that I knew more about managing this than he did. But he was suiting my needs of refilling prescriptions and checking my A1c.

Now, I've decided that I need more than the basics from my endo. I need someone who I can stabilize with so that the next five to ten years of my life, I have a doctor who is on my side to get my A1c down. I need an aggressive doctor who will try the latest treatments. I also need someone who understands my other health issues; I need someone who won't judge my use of bio-identical hormones.

Since I'm young and prefer doing most of my work online, I really want a doctor who will email me, who I can email back, and who doesn't make you come into their office just to talk over a weekend of bad numbers. I don't mind going through a nurse occasionally (if they're nice), but I really want someone that I can email when I need something quick.

I want someone who specializes in type 1, who treats more than a handful of type 1 patients. I also want someone who has experience with younger patients that plan to start families in the next five to ten years. I'd love to have an endo that specializes in pregnancy, but I don't think that's a necessary want at the moment.

I also need easy access to referrals, or a referral-free group, that I can still maintain my sense of comfort by easily seeing any speciality that I want. More likely than not, my endo will need to be my Primary Care Physician, so I need someone who fits into that place without making it a pain to see an OB/GYN, opthamologist, neurologist, or any other speciality that I feel I need.

It doesn't matter to me what gender they are, what their ethnicity is, or any of those other factors that don't really play into managing diabetes. Sure a female endo would better understand my hormones and probably be better to walk me through pregnancy at a later time, but at this point, I'm prepared to find the best that fits me no matter what their gender is.

Now...where's the button that makes them magically appear?