I know several people who participate in fantasy football leagues. I just never got into that sort of thing. I really have no interest investing so much time and energy into football. For those of you not familiar with fantasy football, points are earned based on how well one's fantasy team players perform each week. It's a pretty big deal for some. Participants draft players, trade players, decide which players to start and which to bench and they even act as legal representation when their players get in trouble for injecting illegal substances, abusing their wives and/or organizing dog fighting rings.

But I really do like a little competition. I certainly invest plenty of time and energy into diabetes and my knowledge of the disease is fairly good. What if we had our very own fantasy league? A fantasy league for diabetes. Well, look no further.

I'm happy to announce that the inaugural season of the Fantasy Diabetes League (FDL), begins now, and you're all a part of it. That is, for a small registration fee of $25 made out to Carey Potash. You know, for general operating expenses such as FDL stationary, shot glasses, helmets and such.

Alright, I'm joking about the registration fee, but I'm quite serious about the league. The idea is simple. You earn 3 points every time you receive a ridiculous comment or question related to diabetes. Then, bonus points are awarded according to that person's profession.

For example, a few months ago, I was donating blood and chatting with a Red Cross technician about Charlie and diabetes, when she asked if he would outgrow the disease. In this scenario, I would receive 3 points for the ridiculous question and another 3 bonus points since it came from a person in the medical field, giving me a total of 6. See point table below.

The 2007/2008 winter season begins right now and ends on National Banana Bread Day - Feb. 23 (of course!). As commissioner of the FDL, I'm prohibited from participating, but I will maintain a list of the point leaders and post the results semi-often. All you need to do is email me at acehotspray@aol.com with your ridiculous diabetes comments and questions and the guilty party's occupation and you'll have a chance to win , ooh crap, didn't think that far. Hold on, let me see what I have on me. Hang on , checking my pockets.

Ah, here we go. The winner will receive one lewd picture drawn by Charlie that appears to be a giant squid peeing on a scuba diver and a $10 gift card to Starbucks. I will also accept ridiculous comments and questions that you've received in the last couple of months.

So, the next time someone says something absurd about diabetes, don't roll your eyes and get mad. Think of the points you're earning.

Ooh, almost forgot. One-eyed Jacks and suicide kings are wild.

Good luck.

Actor - 1
Actuary - 1
Agricultural and food scientist - 2
Architect - 1
Artist - 1
Automotive mechanic - 1
Bookkeeping clerk - 1
Bounty Hunter - 5 (because what are the chances?)
Carpenter - 1
Chemist - 2
Childcare worker - 2
Civil engineer - 1
Coach - 2
Computer software engineer - 1
Computer support specialist - 1
Court reporter - 1
Dancer - 1
Database administrator - 1
Designer - 1
Desktop publisher - 1
Disc jockey - 1
Doctor - 3
Drafter - 1
Economist - 1
Electrical engineer - 1
Electrician - 1
Environmental scientist - 2
Farmer - 1
Financial analyst - 1
Firefighter - 1
Gynecologist - 3
Hand model - 5 (because what are the chances?)
Human resources assistant - 2
Judge - 2
Landscape architect - 1
Lawyer - 2
Librarian - 1
Loan officer - 1
Matador - 5 (because what are the chances?)
Musician - 1
Nurse - 3
Paralegal - 1
Pharmacist - 3
Photographer - 1
Physicist - 3
Pilot - 1
Police officer - 2
Politician - 1
Professional athlete - 1
Psychologist - 2
Real estate agent - 1
Reporter - 2
Secretary - 1
Social worker - 1
Statistician - 1
Stay-at-home mom - 1
Surveyor - 1
Systems analyst - 1
Taxidermist - 5 (because what are the chances?)
Teacher - 2
Urban planner - 1
Veterinarian - 1
Webmaster - 1
Writer - 1
Zookeeper - 5 (because what are the chances?)