Well, as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, I had my appointment yesterday with my endocronologist. I had also told you I was hoping for a good A1c and I knew if my test wasn't good, I could expect to have the "you're a great candidate for the pump" talk. Well, I got my test results back and I can honestly say that I had one of the highest A1c's that I have had in years. I was very dissapointed. I am actually so ashamed, embarrassed, and frustrated that I don't even want to share my number with you. Maybe, if you're reading this and you are diabetic like me, then you can relate to this feeling of not wanting anyone else to see your score. I even go out of my way to hide my blood glucose reading every time I test. I'll be the first one to admit that this fear comes from being insecure about what other people might think of me. Or fear that someone might make a judgement of either my health or my diabetes management based on the number. In many cases, non-diabetics think they know what the number means, but, from my experience they usually don't.

I am also the first one to admit, another reason why I don't let anyone else see what my sugar reads is because I am selfish. This is MY DISEASE! You have no business peaking over and trying to catch a glimpse of what my meter says. It would be like me trying to read your bank statement over your shoulder, and then forming some opinion based on how much money you have in your account. For all I know, I might be looking over the shoulder of Donald Trump. My point is don't judge a book by its glucose levels.

Something positive did come out of yesterday's appointment. After hearing about my A1c, something inside of me clicked. I got home and I immediately said to myself, "hell no." I am not going to let this high number be representative of me ever again. So today, I CAREFULLY watched what I ate and made darn sure that I knew my carbohydrate intake. I also really took my time calcuating how much Novolog I would need. I am happy to say that I had an extremely successful blood sugar day and I feel a lot better! :)