"pink fingernails; blood under fingernails"
As early as 400 BCE, Hippocrates taught that the nails reflect the condition of the inner body. It is true that abnormalities of the nails can often provide early clues to common medical problems or severe systemic diseases.
Red or deep pink: Can indicate a tendency to poor peripheral circulation.
Half white/half pink: May indicate fungal infection or, more seriously, kidney disease.
Sitting on the exam room table, I stared closely at my fingernails and began to think horrible thoughts. God, what if it’s something really serious? What if the doctor walks into the room and tells me I need to go right to the ER? It can’t be good to have inexplicable blood under each fingernail on my right hand. What if ... ? I don’t know. What if I didn’t have much time left?
I looked closely at my left hand and focused in on a slight tinge of pink on my ring finger. Shit! Whatever it is, it’s spreading to my left hand.
"Have you ever seen anything like this?" I asked the nurse as she peeled the blood pressure cuff from my bicep.
"No, I haven’t," she admitted.
"You didn’t touch anything with red ink or anything?" she asked.
"No," I said. "The thing is, I wash my hands and it goes away a little bit but then it comes right back."
"Oh," she said regrettably. "The doctor will be right in."
It had been three days of closely watching my fingernails grow more and more red. Susanne was getting very concerned; especially after I reported my findings from the Internet.
"You have to go the doctor!"
My jacket sat in a clumsy pile behind me on the table. Waiting for the doctor to come in, I searched for my cell phone in my jacket pocket. When I pulled my left hand out, I noticed significant red stains on my fingertips.
OH MY GOD!!! MY POCKETS ARE EATING MY FINGERS!!!!!!!
Or …
It was the Ocean Spray powdered cranberry grape drink mix pack that burst open and spilled into my pocket.
"Yes, jackass! The redness comes back every day because you continue to put your hand back into your jacket pocket! Funny how it works that way!
The doctor walked in and I sheepishly explained my idiocy, showing her the purple drink mix wrapper as evidence.
"Another life saved," she joked, as I still sat there shaking my head.
"So you never smelled it?" she asked.
Putting my fingers to my nose, the odor was quite sweet and grapey.
This was a true "Carey moment."
"Maybe. I guess so. I don’t know. I just didn’t put it all together."
So what does all this have to do with diabetes?
If Charlie didn’t have diabetes, I wouldn’t have had a sugar-free juice mix packet in my pocket to begin with and it wouldn’t have exploded and I wouldn’t have thought I had one month to live and I wouldn’t have wasted my morning or spent a co-pay and I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself over grape-flavored fingernails.
Dammit! I want my 20 bucks back, diabetes!
Sorry about the 20 bucks, Carey, but you gave me the best laugh I've had in months!
That's the funniest thing I've read in ages. I'm sure they're still talking about you at the doctor's office. Not to worry, we all still like you!
My husband says Charlie will treasure that story, some day...
still laughing....that is classic!
FWIW, my fingers (under my nails) turn blue to black at what most folk consider comfortable room temperatures. Same thing with my feet. No idea what red has to do with it...
Finger tips that turn white > blue > blue-black > return to normal/red might be a symptom of Raynauds phenomenon. Ask your doctor.
Consider this the best $20.00 you have spent as you have provided laughter for a lot of lonely folks.
I laughed until I cried, I have not laugh this long and hard in a good while. I might increase my health or life span.
I am kind of like you so I have stopped reading symptoms of disease as I seem to develop them after I read them
Thanks
I'm SO happy that I'm not the ONLY one...things like this happen to me alllll the time. The good thing is that you get a good belly-laugh on your way home on the subway which of course makes you look demented since you're alone and chuckling uncontrolably. Great story!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud.