Today I... am recovering from a very emotional evening in which crying ensued for no reason, but I suspect it was due to a string of terrible blood sugars, including swinging from 202 to 53 to 135 within the course of several hours.
Today I... would really like to go in the bathroom and cry. Or just go home and cry.
Today I... am trying not to angrily march over to the next cube and show the lady talking about how bad her allergy shots hurt all the infusion set scars on my belly.
Today I... considered talking to my coworkers about World Diabetes Day, but I don't have the mental energy.
Today I... am struggling with a funk I've been in for about a week that is likely due to not having even one in-range blood sugar reading unless by accident, miracle or lack of food.
Today I... hate diabetes so much that I am declaring a truce. I'm done with this sh*t.
Today I... wore blue in honor of World Diabetes Day.
Today I... ate leftover Halloween chocolate from the kitchen at work even though my blood sugar was near 200.
Today I... am aching for a CGMS approval that would likely help me avoid the depression I'm in now from having such terrible blood sugars for the last week; I also blame Aunt Flo for said terrible blood sugars.
Today I... want the world to know that having diabetes sucks, that 90% of the time I do what I have to do and get on with life, that there is a huge component to having this stupid disease that takes every ounce of energy I have to not throw in the towel and say I'm not doing this any more, that the pressure put on the victim to be compliant and stay in control is often too much to bear.
Today I... will test my blood sugar, bolus for meals, complain a little, maybe cry a little, hug my children, kiss my husband and be glad that it's me and not them.
Today I... will make sacrifices.
Wow, very powerful. Thanks.
I am so with you. Great realities. Each and every day I feel what you wrote. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone.
We must be blood sugar twins ! ha Mine will go from 108 to 200 to 44 all in the same day - Its exhausting, depressing, and so very emotional ! Hang in there - you are not alone !!
Thanks Michele for sharing your struggle,
I can relate tho I'm a lot further down the track.I've had diabetes for 16 yrs. I have finally given up.
Even with the isulin and lantus my BS are often swing from 100 to 500, sometimes more.
I hear you about the emotional swings. I was recenly DX with Bipolar. I don't know if I really am or it's the BS.
I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue snd someother inflamatory illness that flare often and when they do they mess with my BS.
I've pretty much come to the conclusion that the only thing I can do is not eat somedays, at least then I know it wasn't the food causing the problem.
It sounds like you have found a good place to vent and share your gratitude
Thanks.
CathyH
thank you david
I hope you're doing better. I'm new to this website and now will find myself on the computer constantly looking for support. I am 12 years into diabetes..type 2...6 years I was off meds because I lost 70 lbs and kept it off by weighing and measuring all foods. Approx 5 yrs ago I started overeating again and here I am now on insulin since early September. I was married to a diabetic for 20 years so know what it's all about. Things were tougher then..only urine tests, not blood sugars at that time. My life is easier because I know what my bs is at any given time. HOWEVER, food is my love, my companion, my comfort and my worst enemy. That's what makes this tough for me. I have 6 grandchildren that I want to be around for in pretty good health. I'm struggling. I'm hoping that access to all this information on what others are going through and how they handle their lives will give me encouragement to continue what I started at 6:30 this morning..eating correctly in order to control my bs. I've been fortunate that with all the high readings I had and 9 a1c a couple of months ago I have no permanent damage to anything. Even my eyes are good. I need a reminder every day of that. I eat no flour or sugar and that helps with the cravings. I'm very happy to have this outlet at this stage of my disease.
Jackie