LP

When I tell my "real-life" friends stories about my friends from the Diabetes Online Community (DOC), I'm often told that my stories make these people sound real.

"Well," I say, "They are real. In many ways more real than some people I've met face to face."

I usually get the look then. The one that says: Nicole has been spending too much time online. Nicole's friends all live in the box.

That's the furthest thing from the truth. I mean - really - who can spend too much time online? And my friends don't live in the box, they just talk to me through it. Right?

I'm getting to the point. Patience.

Over the past two years, I have come to know so many people through the DOC. Some feel much more like family than like semi-invisible internet friends. You see - I know them. I know about their crappy jobs or their cool jobs. I know about their fights with friends and family. I know about their victories. I know about their defeats. I know about their children and their spouses. I know about the best days they've spent - and the worst.

Most importantly, I know their lives with the disease I had shouldered on my own for the better part of twenty-five years. And in their words - the little snapshots of their existence that they share with me - I see reflections of myself, of my struggles and my triumphs. I see reflections of my fears, and of my determination to move forward with grace. I see the days I wanted to give up and the days I never felt stronger. I see the ultimate joy and sadness that life with a chronic disease can impart. And I see that I am never really alone with this thing.

My diabetes exists within the confines of my skin, and it is up to me to make the right choices and decide whether I'll let it get the best of me; this responsibility is mine alone. And it is sometimes too much to bear. BUT I am bound inextricably to those of you reading this and thinking "I know that responsibility - it is my burden too." And I am bound to those wondering how your child will bear this same responsibility in the years to come. And I am bound to those who have given me support and encouragement over these years through your kind words and actions.

We are bound by the most beautiful and tragic thread - thread we would never have chosen - but that has created a fabric so lovely it often leaves me breathless.

Today, I wrap myself again in the blanket of OUR experience, and I carry on with another day of life with diabetes. My very real, (though invisible to the untrained eye), friends at my side.