LP
When I tell my "real-life" friends stories about my friends from the Diabetes Online Community (DOC), I'm often told that my stories make these people sound real.
"Well," I say, "They are real. In many ways more real than some people I've met face to face."
I usually get the look then. The one that says: Nicole has been spending too much time online. Nicole's friends all live in the box.
That's the furthest thing from the truth. I mean - really - who can spend too much time online? And my friends don't live in the box, they just talk to me through it. Right?
I'm getting to the point. Patience.
Over the past two years, I have come to know so many people through the DOC. Some feel much more like family than like semi-invisible internet friends. You see - I know them. I know about their crappy jobs or their cool jobs. I know about their fights with friends and family. I know about their victories. I know about their defeats. I know about their children and their spouses. I know about the best days they've spent - and the worst.
Most importantly, I know their lives with the disease I had shouldered on my own for the better part of twenty-five years. And in their words - the little snapshots of their existence that they share with me - I see reflections of myself, of my struggles and my triumphs. I see reflections of my fears, and of my determination to move forward with grace. I see the days I wanted to give up and the days I never felt stronger. I see the ultimate joy and sadness that life with a chronic disease can impart. And I see that I am never really alone with this thing.
My diabetes exists within the confines of my skin, and it is up to me to make the right choices and decide whether I'll let it get the best of me; this responsibility is mine alone. And it is sometimes too much to bear. BUT I am bound inextricably to those of you reading this and thinking "I know that responsibility - it is my burden too." And I am bound to those wondering how your child will bear this same responsibility in the years to come. And I am bound to those who have given me support and encouragement over these years through your kind words and actions.
We are bound by the most beautiful and tragic thread - thread we would never have chosen - but that has created a fabric so lovely it often leaves me breathless.
Today, I wrap myself again in the blanket of OUR experience, and I carry on with another day of life with diabetes. My very real, (though invisible to the untrained eye), friends at my side.
Nicole - That was beautiful. It has been amazing getting to know this wonderful family and you have been a huge part of that. I often get that look too, when I speak of my friends here in the D-OC. I don't care though, you all have been a huge blessing. Thank you for all you do and all that you are.
Hugs, Viv
Nicole, this is a simply gorgeous post. Bound by tragic threads or mere coincidence, it is an honor to call you a friend.
That was a perfect description of the community available to everyone online.
I felt so alone for so long. My hope is that no one ever feels that way living with diabetes since so many of us here would welcome them into the OC.
Great post.
Well said, Nicole. Thank you for being a great invisible friend.
Nicole, this is the most apt, beautifully-written description of this online community I've read today.
You've given me goosebumps.
I'm so very proud to call you my friend.
--Sandra
Dear Friend,
As I wrote before, I'm glad we've "met."
Thank you.
Viv - I posted more at your site, but thank you for stopping in. And for all you give to this community. :)
K - Thanks so much. As you know, your expressions always inspire me. I am lucky to have you in my life.
George - My rock n roll Ninja. Where's the goods you promised me??? I'm waiting. In the meantime, know that I greatly admire the achievements you've made during your time in the OC and all that you do for this community.
Carey - More at your site too. But you know we're square, dude.
Sandra - Thank you, as always. I so hear my mother's voice (all those years ago) when you talk/write about Joseph. I certainly feel some kindred with him - but I'm sure some of it is rooted in the fact that you remind me very much of my mother (again, all those years ago) and how she encouraged me, loved me, but most of all - let me LIVE. Thank you for sharing your incredible voice with me :)
Colleen - I am very proud to call you "friend." You are so far from invisible in my heart.
I raise my glass of [cheap] wine to you, friend. And I also raise a tissue to my nose, because this post got me all sniffly, I totally agree with Sandra. :)
I didn't know whether to comment here or on your other blog - but thank you! This post and so many of your others remind me why this community is so awesome and why I consider so many of its members my friends.
And congrats on the new job!
Nicole
Thanks for such a great post. It's true what you say about friends. We all share this common bond of our diabetes. And then some of us also get a chance to blog about it. What a blessing that is.
I'm so glad to have found this D-blogosphere and have such good and close friends here, including you.
What a lovely post, Nicole. I often feel that my invisible internet weirdo friends are more real to me than people I know in real life.
I have met many of my no longer invisible internet friends, they are the best. :)
Hannah - Here's to cheap wine and small bolus. LOL... And tissue. :)
Sara - Thank you! I love reading your blog too. :)
Bernard - Thank you for everything you do for the community - your efforts are appreciated.
J - Thank you :) It's strange how faceless words can create these faces - these amazing spirits in our minds/hearts, I think.
Karen - They are. :)