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The last few weeks have been a major struggle with my weight. The week before finals (first week of December), I noticed that my weight was slowly climbing. Not much, but enough to make me worry. Two weeks later (bringing us to this weekend), I've gained two pounds.
I know two pounds isn't that much, but this time I feel like it's twenty pounds. I'm noticing it in my face, in my legs, in my hands. No one else seems to notice, so I'm sure this is just my self-image taking a nasty turn. But no matter what, I'm still bothered by it.
The week before finals, I kept having lows. The added stress and all the running around seemed to make me reach for juice. So I figured that those extra calories were responsible for the extra weight. I tried to get these under control and keep my treatments to a minimum.
A week later, I headed back to my mom's house to start a mini-mester on Nutrition. How fitting!!! My blood sugars decided to soar into the 200's. Bolus after bolus, I just can't seem to get these numbers under control. All this added insulin seems to be keeping my weight above normal. It doesn't help that I'm doing less (no gym membership and 4 hours of class a day) and eating more (holiday parties, eating out of boredom, mass selection of restaurants).
It's just frustrating that diabetes can have such a dreadful effect on my weight and appearance. When I'm in control and having lows, I gain weight because of all the extra calories. When I'm out of control and running high, I gain weight because of the excess insulin. Where is the middle ground? What do I have to do to get there?
At least the added weight and the elevated blood sugars make me more motivated to find some sort of exercise and watch my food choices more closely. So much for wanting to LOSE weight over the break!
Here's my plan: limit my calories to 1800 per day, limit carbs to fewer than 110 grams a day, do 30 minutes of cardio at least three times a week. If I can get my blood sugars averaging under 145, I should be able to limit my insulin by 10%. Of course, Christmas is going to make all this difficult. Self-control...what's that?
