Diabetes is a unique disease in many ways.
One way that I never really realized until recently is the guilt it places on the patient.
With other diseases, your doctor is in control of everything. Your medicine, how often you take it, and how much. But with Diabetes, the patient is the one who has to manage it. So when there is a problem, the patient gets blamed.
But is that fair? Sure, I know that I decide if I am going to take my insulin on time, or bolus correctly. I am the one who either chooses to exercise or not and eat healthy foods or not. Those are up to me.
But, tell me this, who is to blame when I take my insulin correctly, exercise, do everything right, and for no reason my blood sugar is 270?
I have left my house for work with a BG of 110 and if I have a terrible day on the highway, I can get to work and be over 200! Without eating a thing. All it takes is getting cut off or almost in an accident and my sugar will spike. Who do I blame? The other driver? My inability to deal with stress? Every other person trying to get to work and who are in front of me?
I am tired of taking all the blame. I am tired of feeling guilty. I am supposed to control something that is not predictable. Tell me how you do that?
And this is not just for the type 1's like me. Type 2's get blamed for having this disease. They get told that because they are overweight or ate one too many serving of pasta that they gave themselves diabetes. How messed up is that?
"Well, that's what you get for being fat." Like it's a punishment. Like it's deserved. It kills me that those of you with type 2 have to feel guilt for having diabetes. That is not fair and inaccurate since I know MANY type 2's that are not overweight.
The question of guilt comes up again when thinking about treatment and care. Do doctors think that guilt is a motivator? It is not for me. I think, "Well if screwed up so bad, I may as well screw up some more!" I know that is not the right attitude but it works as a defence mechanism and it happens, at least for me it does.
So what is the cure? What can we do? How can we get through all this shame?
Blame Diabetes.
Try it. For one day, when your BG is not where you want it, blame diabetes. It's the disease. Let diabetes take the bullet for once.
We deserve a break.
Amen! I'm blaming diabetes today and not myself...
I too think that if I screwed up there is no turning back so why not wallow, keep doing what I know I should not or keep blowing off exercise.... then it starts the ugly spiral downward ... I have to try to dig my way back up to the light through all my guilt...it sucks!
Since the beginning I have felt like every number is all my fault. It can be so debilitating.
I am hoping the future of the artificial pancreas will end the sudden spikes. Oh technology!
That would be awesome. Stress really screws me up.
You are so right. Everything can be perfect except for this stupid disease. And it's not our fault! I wish more people understood this.
I wish doctors took on this attitude. feeling guilty does not motivate me to do better.
Great message George. I think I wrote something similar today too. We get stuck in this cycle of asking 'why', and when you ask 'why' then there has to be blame somewhere. Instead, I am trying to train my brain to think 'what now'. What's done is done - the number is what it is - but what can 'I' do about it. http://bit.ly/nwjc1
Your post is so right on! I like the idea of celebrating assessing our BG not the number. And the "why" is not as important as the "What now."
I am sick. My blood sugars are whacked.
Blaming Diabetes.
Rock on.
Thanks George!! Great post. Much love Dbro!
Great post G-Money. Great post.
And what about the guilt that looms if you develop some sort of complication? Wishing you could have done something different way back when, and feeling guilty because of it! That's not fair either!
Great post and I hear you screaming my friend!
Not only am I blaming Diabetes for my crazy numbers and occasional bitch-fits, but I'm also blaming diabetes for various sightings of the elusive Chupacabra in both Texas and Toledo, AND the Jersey Devil reportedly being spotted summering in the Hamptons over the July 4th weekend- Damn Diabetes!
Kelly Kunik
A.K.A "k2"
I think blaming anyone will not help in curing these kind of sickness. Maybe all we have to do is pray, avoid the food or things that can worsen the diabetes, also avoid stress and always have a positive outlook in life.
diabetes reversal report reviews
I do pray. I do not blame anyone. There is no reversing type 1 diabetes. And most type 2's are in the same boat. This is about guilt in the wrong place. Read it again and you will see what I mean.
Instantvaultgraphics,
I agree that blaming anyone will not help in curing diabetes and that a healthy lifestyle is the key, even for people who do not have diabetes. Also, people of faith do have that faith on which to lean through difficult times, and certainly prayer, meditation and other similar practices within the boundaries of one's own personal faith are strongly encouraged to assist in having a positive outlook on life. On those things I agree with you completely.
I thoroughly read the entire website from the link you posted with your reply, about "reversing diabetes". It is true that with continued and well-informed effort, type 2 diabetes can sometimes be controlled by diet, exercise and/or weight management. But I want to be genuine, honest, and respectful as I can when I say this -- please believe I am being respectful -- the information posted on that website disclaims its own claims. The consumer assumes all responsibility, not just for physical health while taking the product, but also for checking with a medical professional who would have the knowledge needed to make an informed decision about the product. If the product were medically sound with proven results, it would say so and provide you the information you need up front.
This is one of those products that I personally would categorize as "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is". I suspect a doctor would tell you that the supplements probably won't hurt you, and I say the supplements are just a gimmick to pass off the accompanying booklet.
I cannot tell anyone what to do or believe, but I can say I would not purchase this product. The web page says it is also for people who have had type 1 diabetes for 7 years or less... because type 1 is absolutely incurable and irreversible, I cannot take seriously what the website claims. It is most cruel for a website to offer false hope to a type 1 diabetic who doesn't know any better, or to type 2 diabetics for that matter.
However, I do thank you for sharing the link, it was helpful to stimulate discussion, and if the website's product is helpful to some type 2 diabetics, more power to them.
I would respectfully suggest that your faith be reserved for your personal spiritual and/or religious beliefs, and not in an all-natural supplement whose website provides wrong information and assumes no responsibility for the product it tries to sell. I just don't want anyone to be disappointed or to put their health at risk because they didn't ask a doctor first.
Respectfully,
Dantony C.
I have been a diabetic for 52 yrs. and have had a guilty conscience for most of those years. Back when I got sick most of the control was just guess work. Now that I have the pump I suffer more with guilt than ever because this is about as good as it gets and I still bounce around!! However, I guess I've done something right as I still have my limbs and little damage. What I don't get now is why is it that we can put a man on the moon but we can't cure this disease even tho they know so much about it? Have good days.
Screw the numbers. You are a diabetic. If the numbers were all in the safe range you would not be a diabetic. Live everyday to its fullest. Diabetic for 40 years, and still kicking its A.
George Simmons,
I hear about feeling of guilt all the time from people who have diabetes. But George, look at all the things you are doing right (summarized in my words according to your blog):
* You are setting healthy boundaries, and you are both honest and aware of your own freedoms and limitations.
* You allow yourself to take proper credit for managing diabetes as best you can.
* You know when it is not your fault, and therefore refuse to accept blame.
* You recognize and reject the diabetic "myths" that are outdated and wrong.
* You understand that sometimes it is "normal" to have numbers that are too low or too high.
* You are creating your own new ways to cope with diabetes.
* You are publicly sharing your experiences and contributing to the community.
I ask you to very activly consider whether these summarized bullet items -- all portraying VERY healthy behaviors and taking VERY personal responsibility -- are these things cause for guilt? If one is doing his or her best (knowing that some days' "best" won't be the same as other days' "best"), is that cause for guilt?
I think you answered that question in your blog, very loud and clear: Guilt serves no good function when one is already trying as best he or she can to manage diabetes, and it interferes with the successful motivation and due credit for doing things right as often as humanly possible.
The only thing you're "guilty" for is the necessary attention and continuous effort you put in to caring for your health. It's not wrong to need to rest and let things slide just a little sometimes, so long as it doesn't become a habit. I wish more people would really stop and realize just how many things they are doing to manage their diabetes, and to focus on the things they are doing right.
And one final note... yes, when someone cuts you off and almost causes an accident, I would have to say it is indeed their fault.
Dantony C.
George - You're not alone.....I too battle a war with this thing called diabetes and its generals (complications). Do everything right....Still high...do everything wrong....complications. I have the physician implying I'm doing something wrong. I have the bystanders telling me what they think ....wrong or right! asked for or not! Stress spikes! But I must be fat, lazy, or don't care about me. How darn they judge me so harshly.
Diabetes type 2 is look upon as the person who is leads a unhealthy lifestyle. Type 1 the innocent diabetic who did no wrong. See I always wonder if there's a type 1.5 someone in between....the person that has functioning weak pancreates that losses it strength over time....Could that be me! Maybe some respect then! Okay! If I lose weight would I cease to be diabetic? No! If I was in control environment would I cease to be diabetic? No! Will Diabetes continue to attempt to take me down! Heck Yeah! I wish no one was a diabetic....forget the types....this is a disease that has no winners!
It is what it is...
Blame chronic malnutrition
When I was 18, after 13 years of DM, I began to have loss of vision from retinopathy, I was one of the first Patients in the US to have photocoagulation (laser) to save my vision. The MD said I might have to do this over and over, I said No sir, just fix it now and I'll take over, there was no internet then, I spent hours in Libraries researching nutritional supplentation, I began taking Vitamins C, E, A, and a B complex, I owe my life to people like Dr Wilfred Shute MD(Vitamin E) Adelle Davis(Lets get well) and Dr Adkins when he believed in Mega Dose therapy.
If I forget to take my Vitamins, Minerals and Amino acids, I will drive back home, even if I am late to work, and I don't feal guilty about a few high sugars.
Ernurserick,
Your reply "vitamin therapy" really got my attention, as I have been told from day oen by doctors to always take a multivitamin every day, to take extra vitamin C for better immune function and health of certain tissues (like the gums), vitamin E was once recommended with vitamin C by a urologist, and vitamin B Complex was recommended for improved mood, metabolism and nerovous system function.
And now my current primary care doctor is one who emphasizes how if only proper dietary nutrition were attained, so many other health issues and inconveniences would pretty much take care of themselves with no need for prescribed medication. My doctor always asks me if I am getting a variety of vegetables every day.
If ever I stop taking vitamin supplements or eating my vegetables, I do start getting that general sensation of malaise and fatigue.
Thank you for bringing up the issue of nutrition -- it really is a fundamental key to better health that is so often ignored.
Dantony C.
Just keep doing what you feel is right George. My numbers usually are in good control. BUT Do any other women notice around their time of the month, that they experience very high blood sugar readings? I can be so good for so long and wham! Highs out of control for a couple days. After I start, lows out of control. Love being a diabetic (lol). Debbie
Debbie, I got diabetes when I first started getting my cycle, welcome to womanhood hell. My cycle always screws up my control, and after 25 years I wonder what will happen when i hit menopause? I want to find GYN who understands diabetes too, maybe i could keep from going into DKA even with a pump once a year when i get a stress or infection and my period all at once.Well I am 37 and still have many years of diabetes and periods so guess i ahve time to figure out the right combination.
Hmm, this is why I love DLIFE so many people feel like me> We are diabetic hear us roar! I sure needed to read this today> stress, guilt,and my illness, hormones, and God help me if i get an infection too> I will ended up in DKA and they will blame me. It is not our fault but it is our problem. we can make it better or make it worse. I want to work on my recovery from diabetes. I know I can not cure it but I can work on being the healthiest me i can be today. I take "BLAME" out of my vocabulary today. I do what I can and leave the rest. We are ahead of the rest of the world, I think us diabetics are a special people with deal with stuff the rest of world could never do.
niceee... blame Diabetes!!!