Today, I have had diabetes for twenty five years. And I'm not sure exactly how I feel.

I guess, lucky - my body is free, so far, of complications.

I also feel somewhat happy and strong - I mean, I started this journey as a scared, angry little girl and I'm here now - a somewhat accomplished, otherwise healthy, happy woman.

And I feel a little sad - for the weight of diabetes is surely heavy on some days. I don't let myself think of what life might have been like if I'd never been diagnosed - because - really, what would be the point? I think more of the constant juggle and the often unavoidable failures and the sheer relentlessness of diabetes management. And yeah, that makes me sad.

Today, for me is a day for reflection. And as I do so, I realize that my having diabetes has presented me with knowledge, personality traits, independence, and people that I may not have had in my life without this disease. These things are all important parts of ME, all things that I believe are assets in my life - and not just on the diabetes front.

I certainly have a better handle on the way my body works because I HAVE to in order to keep a handle on this disease. I believe, in general, well-controlled type 1 diabetics are far more aware of their bodies, their diets, and their overall health than average folks. I've been asked many times, in conversation with doctors, if I'm a nurse - because I know the way my body works - I know what numbers are important - and I know how to talk the talk. I'm grateful for this knowledge. But would I trade it away for a life without diabetes? In a heartbeat.

As anyone who has diabetes will tell you, if you're not resilient, if you're not ambitious, if you're not able to adjust on a dime, and if you're not at least a bit creative - you probably won't fare as well as someone who is all of those things. I believe diabetics realize this early on - I certainly did - and I adopted them, or strengthened them. And these traits are some that people admire in me, that help me in every area of my life. But would I trade them away for a life without diabetes? I would - though I don't think I'd have to - I am confident I would have had some or all of them without having this disease.

(Continued Next Post)