(Continued From Previous Post)

I am dependent on insulin. But I am otherwise an incredibly independent person. I like taking risks - on my own. I enjoy the feeling of having accomplished something by my own will and my own action. I am more outgoing and more confident than I think I would have been if I'd not been diagnosed. A combination of wanting to be able to handle my disease on my own, without pity or judgment AND the experiences I had as a young woman - through the Clara Barton Camp and the ADA's Youth Congress - transformed me from a shy, albeit precocious kid, to a person who stands on her own. A person who keeps her head up and battles mightily - in the face of whatever wrong she sees and whatever challenges she faces. But would I trade my independence for a life without diabetes? I would - though again, who's to tell if something else might have brought me to this same place.

Finally - diabetes has brought into my life a host of amazing people. People with whom I share diabetes - but in whom I've found a million other things to love and admire. They have come into my life through Clara Barton Camp, the ADA, through support groups my mother took me to as a child, and through the amazing online community I've discovered and happily become a part of over the past two years. These people - my friends - are fellow diabetics and parents of diabetics - but moreover they are a support system that I've found I can't live without. They cheer me when I'm down, they applaud my efforts, they amaze me with their strength and their sincerity and their willingness to touch others. They are incredibly special - and it has nothing to do with diabetes at all - it has to do with who they ARE. Now, would I give them up for a life without diabetes? This is the toughest to answer. Because I'm not nearly as sure about this one as I am about the others. I suppose I probably would - of course, I'd hope against hope that somehow we'd find each other anyway - I'd hope that fate would find us swimming in the same pool - without diabetes in our shadows.

Today is a strange day - a day, as a scared kid, I was sure I wouldn't reach. Or sure I wouldn't reach whole. I honestly believed that I'd lose my vision, my fingers or toes - that I'd die as my grandmother had, ravaged by kidney disease and heart failure brought on by type 2 diabetes. Instead, here I am - healthy, strong and in control. I guess it's as much as anyone can ask for. I'm hoping to look back in another twenty-five years and maybe realize how much further I've come - how much I've gained. Even if we find a cure, I will still consider a full, wonderful life - with or in spite of diabetes - something I've accomplished.