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My 31-day average is 165. Blah. I'm wincing just to write that. One hundred and sixty-five is way above the averages that I like to see, especially when it's all combined like that. When month long averages are numbers like 165, you just know that your A1c is going to be terrible.

I know that I haven't worked as hard as I should have over the last few months. Life has taken precedence over diabetes management. Sometimes that happens; sometimes I let it be okay. But right now, it's not okay. If life takes priority, I don't manage as closely as I should. When I don't manage closely, I'm cutting my life short. The life that's taking priority...ironic, right?

No. It's terrible. My last A1c was disheartening. And apparently, this A1c will be much the same, if not worse. I dread even knowing.

I promise myself that I will start to manage as closely as I can (and not let life get in the way). I want averages under 140. I want post-prandials that aren't 223. I want stable trends that I can manage.

But I can't achieve any of those things until I start managing the way that I need to be managing. I need to get back to the gym (or buy that treadmill). I need to watch what I eat (and keep my carbs under 120 per day). I need to log my blood sugars and check them on a regular basis. I need to use my sensor at least one week out of the month.

I HAVE to do all of these things. I have to so that I can keep my life. I want a long, healthy, and happy life. So I just HAVE to do all this in order to live that long, healthy, happy life.

My next endo appointment is on January 30, which doesn't give me much time to correct my averages of 165. So I'm setting my goals for March. If I can start working on every piece of this puzzle, I can get my averages down. Once they are down, I need to work on a system that keeps them down. By March, diabetes should be a top priority.