kizette

I started putting on the weight over two years ago. For those two years, I let twenty pounds add onto my body. I watched myself go up in jean sizes, throw away old clothes because they were too tight, and hate who I was in the mirror. My blood sugars didn't seem to be affected much by my weight. My wardrobe and my mindset were the only things shattered.

Eventually, I realized that the twenty extra pounds were slowly taking a toll on my long-term health, including the long-term health of my diabetes. I started working out again. (You might remember my post about getting my body ready for summer.) I also tried to watch what I was eating more closely, including low treatments.

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...I don't want to make the effort. This has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of insulin I take or optimal blood sugar control--although those aspects of dropping a few pounds would certainly be welcome.

I simply hate the way I look. I can't stand how I look in a mirror. I wonder all the time if people are staring at my thunder things or three-baby-having flabby abdomen. Realistically I know I'm the one focusing on these issues, but as a girl I still wonder what others think.

It's ironic, but I find myself being judgemental of other plus-size women. How can she be taken seriously when she's so chunky? I'm sure the judgements go both ways, and I suppose this affects my self-confidence in a way I haven't been able to truly see.

It's easy to pick apart all the things that I don't like about my body, and I don't look at myself too long in a mirror, and I often imagine how other people see me. (READ MORE)

Many of you know that I am and have been on Weight Watchers for a while now. The last time I weighed in I was down 36 pounds. People have asked me if my insulin needs have changed at all but strangely enough, I have not noticed any change. Until now. (READ MORE)