I have not had good blood sugar the last four days. Watching the little blips on Dex go crazy high and then plummet below my "low" mark has been nerve wracking to say the least.

What did I eat? Did I not exercise enough? Did I overdo my exercise? Am I stressed? Is it hormones? Is my meter calibrated right? Did I calibrate Dex right? What did I eat? Did I forget to bolus? Did I miscalculate carbs?

What did *I* do?

The last four days I blamed myself for my roller coaster blood sugars. They were horrible, really. Highs so high and not responding to insulin. And then when those highs finally started coming down I felt comfortable enough to eat and my sugar would shoot back up. I think Dex woke me up most of those four nights.

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As I stood in the bathroom Friday night, I had to count on my fingers. The math was too much for me any other way. Tuesday, Wednesday... one, two, three. I had to count twice because I didn't believe that I had gotten 11 days out of my Dexcom sensor.

I was still getting mostly good readings, but Friday things had started to get a little farther off than I like and I had put extra tape on the peeling sensor to keep it on as long as I could.

I was beyond thrilled with how things had gone over the last 11 days. I had not often gone over 200 and when I did I knew why. And my lows were kept at bay. I really felt like I was getting out of Dex what I should have been getting out of it all along. I had this goal in front of me to lower my A1C and I felt like Dex was helping me achieve that goal.

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Everything seems to be all over the place lately. Despite catching up on school work and actually de-stressing this week, my blood sugars are bouncing like rubber balls in an airplane bin. My averages are up, yet I'm having rashes of severe lows. And by severe, I don't mean symptoms. I mean numbers and hypoglycemic unawareness.

Like last Thursday night, I cooked chili for a friend. Ate a giant bowl with cornbread, bolused for what I expected was way too little, and went on my way. Only to feel an urge to test a few hours later. No symptoms, just something in my brain saying that I should bite the bullet to test. And that urging left me staring at a 37. How?

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The last two days I’ve really enjoyed having Dex back. It’s been a bit of a pain to have that second device attached to me and remembering to pick it up off the desk when I get up for whatever reason, but overall I’m enjoying being able to watch my sugars stay mostly in range. (And equally happy that Dex usually matches my meter or catches up pretty quickly.)

I think that I didn’t appreciate Dex as much when I first had it as I do now. Maybe the difference now is that I have this 7.5% A1C looming over me that I want to change. A goal that I have to work toward.  I am a deadline-oriented person, after all.

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If some of you didn't mind my cussing so much, right now I'd be screaming from the rooftops "It's about f-ing time!"

Oh look at that; I said it anyway!

So if the squeeky wheel really does get the grease and if it's easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar then I just personified both of those idioms.

Since it had been more than one month since I first called the medical supply company to tell them I was ready to go ahead with an order and things were still screwed up on someone's end I decided to step in. Actually, I was ready to tell my doctor's office and the medical supply company that I was tired of being a go-between and that they needed to get this taken care of right. this. stinkin'. minute.

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I feel like I'm in an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants.

OK first let me say that I really don't like feeling like this. If I could ban SpongeBob from my house I would. When I'm surfing the channels for the kids (man is it hard to please a 9 year old, 6 year old and 3 year old at the same time!) I have to force myself to not scream "Over my dead body!" when they all scream/chant "SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!"

I get that we all need a little mindless entertainment at times (which is why I often choose solitaire over a game of hearts with the computer because solitaire takes fewer brain cells) but my God I just want to poke SpongeBob in the eye. And Patrick.

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