I was in my truck today picking up some fast food from Mickey D's. I typically don't eat fast food. Actually, I never do- but today I was in a hurry and I just wanted to get something fast and not have to put to much thought into it. As I was ordering, I realized that with diabetes there is no such thing as just a "quick little meal". Any time I eat something, I have to put some serious thought and effort into it. Everyday, I put serious energy and brain power towards calculating things in my head.

My life revolves around eating and calculating.
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last night I screamed. I screamed in the kitchen last night. I beat my fists against my legs and pounded my feet against the cold tile floor like a child in the midst of a temper tantrum. I clenched my fists and screamed.
 

silently.
 

a tedious task that needed steady hands. interrupted. I screamed last night.
 

silently.
 

nothing to do but sit on the couch. and wait. and scream. unsure of when the shaking will be gone so I can pick up and continue with my task. with life.
 

I am screaming now. 76 and a nose dive showing on Dex. I do not want to eat. I am not hungry. The thought of sugar makes me want to vomit.
 

I am screaming now.
 

silently. (READ MORE)