A bedtime number of 91 with 1.9 units active? Are you insane? We both know I can’t send him to bed with 1.9 units of active insulin. Am I the mouse to your cheese? The fish to your worm? You want me to give him carbs, don’t you? You leave me no choice and we both know it. This is why I hate you!

 "Here, Charlie. Eat this."

45 minutes later:

88 with over a unit active??? You do know it’s the season premier of Heroes tonight, right? What am I supposed to do with 88? You know I have to give him another slight boost. You’re setting me up, aren’t you? Or are you? No, you are. Damn it! This is why I hate you!

"Charlie, drink some of this juice."

Two hours later:

  (READ MORE)

Where were you! We waited all night for you and you never showed up! Did you forget you had plans with Charlie?  Time and time again I trust you'll be there and time and time again you disappoint him. I feel like such a fool for believing you.

You say you're active. But, are you? Actively absent, maybe. When was the last time you spent some real quality time with him? When was the last time you spent the whole time with him that you said you would? I honestly can't remember. It's been that long.  How can you abandon him at a time when he needs you most?

You say you're "on board," but I don't think so. Sometimes I don't think you were ever on board. It's like you're not even there at all. Like you're invisible. (READ MORE)

What you don't want to hear from your diabetes educator is "hmm, good question." That is, unless it's immediately followed by a good answer.

There has been a burning question of ours since Charlie started on the pump back in September of 2006. During that time, we posed the question to several different people along the way, but never really got a clear answer.

So I present this burning question to you - the true gurus of diabetes.

How can Charlie skip a meal if he wanted to? Is this a mythical notion or do people out there actually achieve this? If Charlie didn't eat something two to three hours after a bolus, he would most certainly go low. I'll ask you exactly what I asked the doctor and nurse practitioner the other day. (READ MORE)

"I feel so lost," Susanne says, her voice crestfallen.

She calls me at work to give me the 10:15 am blood sugar report.

Great, I think to myself, she's going to say that he's really high or really low.

My desk is at the base of a winding staircase that has translucent neon green panels. I sit here, watching people climb up and down steps all day. Up and down. Up and down. Some climb slow and steady. Others descend quick and reckless, reaching the floor level with a thump.

I watch flickering stock market numbers and a cerulean blue mountain range of line charts on my computer screen. Always changing. Never at rest. The FTSE 100 Index up 94. The Nikkei down 74. Mexican Bolsa Index down 312. But I just see blood sugars.

"Why are you lost?" (READ MORE)