CraigPJ

Last week I wrote about my experience with my new endo. Today marks a week from that first visit and the day I am supposed to fax over a weeks worth of BG readings and boluses from my pump.

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craigpj

Back in October I had an appointment to see my endocrinologist. October was not a good month for me.

During that month I was packing up my house, and walking away from the only place my children knew as “home,” and was in a very deep funk.

I knew I was not eating right. No exercising. And my blood sugars had been crazy high because of ignoring all the stuff that helps.

I didn’t go. I totally ditched getting my a1c test drawn.

So, I ditched the appointment and the test. And I haven’t gone back.

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In two weeks I have my next endo appointment scheduled and I am already nervous.

I am eating like it is going out of style and my increase of mass is proof positive! At work I am constantly munching on anything I can get my hands on and continue with it when I get home! I feel like I will never get back on track with Weight Watchers. I feel so far gone.

And because of all the poor food choices my blood sugars have paid the price. I keep running high all day to only crash in the middle of the night. I feel out of wack and completely out of control.

So now I have to face the music with my endocrinologist and frankly I don’t want to.

I want to ditch. (READ MORE)

Well, as you may have read in one of my earlier posts, I had my appointment yesterday with my endocronologist. I had also told you I was hoping for a good A1c and I knew if my test wasn't good, I could expect to have the "you're a great candidate for the pump" talk. Well, I got my test results back and I can honestly say that I had one of the highest A1c's that I have had in years. I was very dissapointed. I am actually so ashamed, embarrassed, and frustrated that I don't even want to share my number with you. Maybe, if you're reading this and you are diabetic like me, then you can relate to this feeling of not wanting anyone else to see your score. I even go out of my way to hide my blood glucose reading every time I test. I'll be the first one to admit that this fear comes from being insecure about what other people might think of me. Or fear that someone might make a judgement of either my health or my diabetes management based on the number. (READ MORE)

Yesterday I posted about the terrible heat we are having here in Southern California and how my glucose meter would not work until it cooled down.

I also hinted about a new pump routine that my new Endocrinologist gave me when I am playing Racquetball and I wanted to tell you about it.

He asked me what I did for exercise to which I told him about Disc Golf and Racquetball. I gave him the same answer I have given here, "I cannot strap myself to a machine for an hour a day. I love doing other stuff instead."

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I got to the office at 8:00 AM. My appointment was for 8:30 so I figured I would read some magazines in the waiting room for a while before I met with my new endocrinologist.  

After walking down a very long, narrow, and deserted hallway I found the room number. I took a deep breath and grabbed the door knob. It was locked. 

Down the hallway and down the elevator I went and found a bench to park on for a while. As time ticked away I started thinking about what my doctor should look like or act like. I took out my Blackberry to check my email and to post some Tweets. 

8:20 rolled around and I headed back upstairs to the long, narrow, deserted hallway that I am sure I have seen in a movie. The door was still locked. I leaned up against the wall and waited. 

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