It's unusual for me to have nightmares — especially nightmares about flying. Mine are usually about family relationships gone completely awry. But facing a World Diabetes Day on which I am working at a place whose uniform does not allow even a touch of blue, having given Nick Jonas my last World Diabetes Day pin (and not having had the money to replenish my stash), and having failed to have the presence of mind to do the Big Blue Test at least once (even though I am bicycling to and from work at least half the time), I feel a bit like a diabetes failure. (READ MORE)

Charlie told me about a dream he had.

He was told to lie down on a hospital bed.

He was in surgery, having his heart removed.  

“I don’t know,” he said, tucking his chin to his chest. (READ MORE)

Since I started taking a mood stabilizer nearly two weeks ago as part of my treatment program for bipolar I've had some pretty weird and interesting dreams. And telling, actually.

One of the most memorable was last week when I dreamed I had gotten a job as a manager at Walmart. Though the offer didn't come directly to me; The Mr. had fielded the call. I asked him if I was going to be the manager of the store or just one of the departments. He said he didn't know and told me to hurry up and get dressed because I was already late. I was putting on a faux suede jacket and making sure my earrings matched my outfit. I said outloud to The Mr: "Should I call Jean and tell her? Or should I just go and see how the job is and decide later if I should quit?" Jean is my boss in real life.

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2 weeks ago

I could hear the laughter from the comedy club in the distance, echoing through the basement corridors. The comedian’s muffled words reverberated from his microphone and the crowd roared in response. I could hear the dampened jokes as if they were being delivered from the other end of a tunnel, but for the life of me, I couldn’t find the comedy club. I felt like I was walking around in circles for hours and I hadn’t seen a soul.

Finally, an elevator opened up. I attempted to step in but people were packed in like sardines. There was no room for me.

Odd dream.

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Ever since I can remember, I've been a dreamer. Not only do I get lost in vivid day dreams, but my subconscious takes over in the darkness of night with raging images. Over the years, I've come to realize that I have a history of especially strange dreams.

They are a mix of nightmares, unrealistic events, and practical moments. I've had some that were premonitions, predicting coming events. Others were so far out of the box that I don't expect anything to resemble them in real life.

But the one thing that my mind usually keeps out of my dreams is diabetes and pain. No nightmare has ever involved diabetes complications, seizures, or even diabetes moments. It's so ingrained in my daily life that my brain doesn't find the need to remind me of it in my sleep.

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I have been pondering traveling the world lately. I can’t quite seem to narrow down exactly what I want to do, but I know it has something to do with traveling the globe, being around others, and spreading peace. The thing I realize, and that we/I sometimes forget, is there is something to be said about a person who just “jumps”. In other words, instead of losing myself in thoughts of what might happen or where I might end up, or how I will get my (diabetic) supplies…I’m more interested in just living and the experiences that come along with it. The idea of just spreading my wings and flying…no matter what happens.

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